Piercing Silence
by Scented Candles
Summary: Angst, Betrayal, Obssession. Battousai doesn’t want anyone to know that he and Kaoru are together. How long will Kaoru be able to tolerate it? Is it because he’s a private person or is there more to it than that?
1. Default Chapter

**Piercing Silence**

**Standard Disclaimers Appl****y**

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Angst, Betrayal, Obssession. Battousai doesn't want anyone to know that he and Kaoru are together. How long will Kaoru be able to tolerate it? Is it because he's a private person or is there more to it than that?

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**WARNING! **This is going to be a DARK fic of angst, betrayal and obsession. It has a bit of LIME/CITRUS thing going on in this chapter but not too much. Give it a chance i know the summary sucks but I'm not good at summaries!

**Pairings: **Battousai/Kaoru

**A/N:**BELATED MERRY CHRISTMAS AND ADVANCE HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Kenshin will be a little OOC and his attitude would be more Battousai than Kenshin in this fic. Oh and guys if you have SLipKnot CD's, check out their song Prosthetics. It's kind of weird and dark but think of Battousai and Kaoru when you listen to it and it's cool in a possessive scary sort of way! I actually got inspired to make a story out of that song! Anyway, this is a different story and I hope you like it!

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**Chapter One:**

Kaoru smiled as she watched him pore over his books. He had become serious about his studies this year since college curriculum was so different from high school. In college, one needed to exert oneself to succeed in ones studies or even to just pass.

Her smile grew when she looked back on how everyone had reacted to the fact that Himura Kenshin, the one who didn't care about anything except being the best in kendo, had excelled in his studies.

Everyone said it was thanks to her.

She always said it was because he studied hard but everyone said that it was her influence that pushed him to succeed in something other than kendo.

It was thanks to her, Kaoru Kamiya, Himura Kenshin's best friend.

Her smile drooped at the corners.

She wasn't just his best friend. She was his lover, his girlfriend…but no one knew.

They lived together and everyone presumed they did because they were very close as friends and Kaoru really didn't go out of her way to correct them since her parents would never let her live with Kenshin if they found out that he and she were an 'item'.

It wasn't really proper but Kaoru, who had always been a proper and obedient daughter, somehow felt that Kenshin needed her with him always and so she lied.

Not really lied, she just didn't tell the truth.

But she wanted to tell the truth.

Badly.

She sighed and walked away from him quietly as to not disturb his concentration.

She was always hurt whenever girls throw themselves at his feet. He would always ignore them but somehow Kaoru wanted more. She wanted those girls to know that Kenshin was taken. That he was off-limits. How many times had she restrained herself from prying an avid fan away from her Kenshin?

She sighed.

She wanted him to tell her that it was time to tell the world. She had talked to him about telling their friends but he always protested because it would cause such a fuss.

Besides their relationship was private, why broadcast it to the world?

It was very difficult but Kaoru managed to convince herself that he was just a deeply private person. He wasn't ashamed of her. He would tell everyone when the time comes.

She was always getting hurt emotionally.

People would tease them about being a couple and every time he would deny it a little piece of Kaoru's heart broke away but she managed to have faith in their love.

He'll tell the world when the time comes.

When? A voice inside her head asked. It's been a year now…

"He'll tell everyone when the time is right," she said to herself, but these days even the sound of her voice sounded hollow to her ears.

* * *

Kenshin looked up from the book he was reading and glanced towards the door. Kaoru was standing there holding a steaming cup in her hands. "Coffee," she said smiling at him and placing it on the table. 

"Thank you," he told her, watching her eyes before turning towards his book.

Kaoru put her arms around his neck from behind and looked over his shoulder. "What's the book about?"

"Boring dead people." Kenshin replied turning the swivel chair so that he dislodged her and made her fall on a sitting position on his lap. She yelped but he was ready to catch her. He buried his face on her neck.

"Next time just tell me to sit on your lap."

His eyes glowed golden as he studied her features turned up towards him. He dipped his head, consuming any other words she might have uttered and taking them into himself. He kissed her hungrily as if she was life itself and he needed her desperately. His hands holding her and managing to touch her everyhere at once.

That raw need she felt when he held her always managed to make her stay.

She's never been needed by anyone the way she felt Kenshin needed her.

She returned his kiss fervently, with equal passion and ardor and after an eternity, they finally parted. She looked into his glittering golden eyes filled with passion.

He was so beautiful.

The expression in his eyes, the possesiveness and savagery she saw reflected there, frightened her. "Kenshin..." she whispered softly.

He stood up, holding her in his arms and headed for his bedroom.

He dropped her on the bed and moved in after her kissing her so passionately that all there was for her was him. The feel of his hands on her, his lips moving over hers, his tongue caressing hers and making her feel so many things at once. Flares of pleasure moved all along Kaoru's body as her nerve endings were lit aflame with his touch.

She kissed him back and then tried to push him away so she could kiss that wonderful body of his but he wouldn't let her. He kissed her neck and nibbled on her ear. His mouth traveled downward to the neckline of her shirt and she raised her arms so he could take it off.

* * *

In the bed, among the clean white sheets lay two naked bodies entwined in sleep. Kenshin's fiery red hair lay in blazing contrast to the cool midnight of Kaoru's dark tresses. 

The soft sounds of lovemaking had long since faded as the lovers now rested together, bathed in the afterglow.

Long, curled lashes fluttered slightly before opening fully to reveal sapphire eyes that glowed even in the dim lighting of the room.

A long, elegant hand crept up to push away a strand of silky dark hair away from her face. Kaoru turned to her side, supporting her weight in her elbows as she stared down at the face of her sleeping lover.

His skin was smooth and pale, like alabaster, gilded almost silver by the moonlight seeping through the half open blinds that protected the room from the glare of the sun and potential prying eyes.

She watched him sleeping.

"You look like an angel," she whispered to him softly as she gently traced the outline of lips with her fingertips.

Awake, his face was expressionless and cold but sleeping, he had a sweet serene innocence that she love so much.

It was as if all his intensity, all his passions and the flames that lit his beingwere somewhat calmed when he was in slumber.

His moist lips parted gently as he turned his face into her caress as if seeking her touch. Kaoru restrained herself from bending down and pressing her lips against his, afraid to wake him up. She knew he would then take her in his arms and perhaps...

She blushed.

He needed rest.

Kenshin's arm moved as if seeking her out, a small furrow forming between his eyebrows. When he made contact with her skin, the furrow disappeared as he settled again, his fingers curling around the curve of her waist.

A small smile lit Kaoru's face at the unconscious action. "Do you really need me Kenshin?" she asked him, "Sometimes I don't think you need anyone at all…"

And yet…

* * *

Kenshin was a very passionate lover but also very dominating. He wasn't really selfish but he was very tormenting. He refused to give her release until she declared her love for him. 

It was weird but he wasn't your typical person.

Kaoru sometimes felt confused.

There were times when it was like he was in such dire need of her love, that he loved her so much it hurt him and terrified him.

It was those times that made her stay.

As fleeting as those moments were it was the only reason that she stayed with him no matter how much he sometimes hurt her, because there were times when it seemed like he didn't care for her at all.

That she was just some girl he lived and slept with.

"What am I to you?" she asked him brushing the stray locks of titian hair away from his face. The light streaming from the window illuminated the faint scar on his cheek. It was barely visible unless you really looked and now, Kaoru studied it frowning.

Instead of marring him, it seemed almost to enhance the perfection of his features. The fluidity of each line and curve and ridge that made up his elegant countenance. He fascinated her. He was like a tiger, feral and fierce and so achingly beautiful.

She wanted him to be free of whatever it was that haunted him. But how can she help him when he never acknowledged that he was indeed being haunted?

Or if he did...he never shared it with her.

All heever shared with her willingly, whole-heartedly, was his body.Kaoru had always thought it was a sign of trust because Kenshin disliked anyone touching him unecessarily.

But now...she wanted more than his body...she wanted all of him.

His thoughts, his feelings, his mind, his heart, his soul.

It seemed only fair since she'd already given her everything to him.

All of her that he demanded, she had given him.

Everything.

* * *

Kaoru's body was still deliciously tired, every part of her still remembered his touch, the feel of his skin against hers, the feel of his weight, his body, his voice…she loved everything about him. 

She loved him so much she wanted to pull him into herself, not only in body but also in spirit, in soul.

Maybe then, she could understand what drove him, the silent nightmares he seemed to endure, the tormentors that seemed to push him.

She gently disengaged herself from his touch, got up from the bed and padded over to the closet to get her black, silk robe. It was a gift from Kenshin when they had first moved in together almost a year now.

They had always been friends in high school. They weren't friends in the normal sense that they hung-out together and talked on the phone. Kenshin was too distant and aloof for that.

It was because Kaoru was the only person Kenshin willingly tolerated that people saw them as friends. Kaoru hadn't even been aware of it at first, but then she'd grown to realize that in his own way, he looked out for her and she'd helped him deal with his rabid fan girls.

That had been back when they were still only just friends.

When they begun college, it seemed just natural for them to move in together.

The relationship had progressed from friendship into something else, but no one else knew.

No one really expected the cold Kenshin Himura, nicknamed Battousai because of his skill in kendo, to actually allow someone close enough to call her his koibito.

They all just thought that Kaoru was his best friend.

Kaoru shivered at the cool, sensuous feel of the silk against her bare, heated skin. Like a lovers touch. Even after all this time she still couldn't get used to the way Kenshin looked at her when she was wearing this robe.

His normally violet eyes would glint with an almost feral amber light. In his eyes was the look of passion, of lust, of raw, unadulterated need…as if he wanted to devour her.

Sometimes he frightened her with his intensity.

Sometimes he burned her with his coldness.

She padded over to the kitchen to get something to drink, the carpet muffling her footsteps while the air-conditioning made goose bumps appear on her skin. She heard the doorbell ring and made a detour. "Who is it?" she asked from the other side of the door. It was already late and none of their friends would visit at this time without calling first.

"Sagara Sanosuke. I'm Kenshin's step-brother, I was told he lived here."

Kaoru blinked, brother? Kenshin never told her he had a brother…

What do you expect? When did he ever tell you anything about himself? The voice in her mind asked.

She pushed it away forcefully and she peeked at the stranger through the peephole.

The man standing outside was so different from Kenshin they could have stood as example of polar opposites. This man was tall and his coloring was less exotic than Kenshin's red hair and violet eyes. She doubted the authenticity of his claim to be Kenshin's brother.

"Kenshin's asleep. I'll wake him." Kaoru said. "Why don't you wait here while I get him?"

"Go ahead."

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After Kenshin had verified the identity of their visitor. Kaoru went back to the front door and opened it to welcome the man inside. "I'm sorry, it's just that I wasn't expecting you. Kenshin is just getting dressed and he'll be out in a minute," she told the man who was staring at her. 

"Tell him not to hurry on my account," came his reply, his mouth twisted in an appreciative smile.

Kaoru remembered what she was wearing.

The black silk robe that Kenshin once told her emphasized all of her curves. The realization that she was facing a stranger wearing the silk robe and nothing else underneath it made her blush.

"Don't worry Jou-chan, you do it justice." Sano said smiling at her flirtatiously.

"Mou…sumimasen." Kaoru said blushing even more.

"So are you Kenshin's girlfriend?" Sano asked smiling at her.

Kaoru looked down at her bare feet and wondered what she should say. "Uh…"

"No she's not." Kenshin's cool voice cut in, "She's my roommate."

Sano stood turned and smiled at Kenshin, "Only you could live with someone as pretty as her and still not notice. If I were you I'd be putting an off-limits sign around her and claiming her as my own." Sano winked at Kaoru.

Kenshin glared. "Well you're not me."

Sano shrugged and laughed, "Thank Kami-sama for that, neh Jou-chan?" he turned to Kaoru but she wasn't there any longer.

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**A/N: I hope i was able to fix the errors in this chapter. **

Hey, hey, hey! Did you like it? Please review! I know this chapter is a bit bland...but it gets interesting as it progresses.

If you have any questions, comments or if you think I should NOT CONTINUE THIS and concentrate on updating my other fics, please feel free to tell me!

Oh and check out my PROFILE, I updated it! There's a list of stories there that I am currently working on aside from those published in this site.

Okay, tell me your views! and give me some REVIEWS! (I'm such a dork...)


	2. 02

**Piercing Silence**

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

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**My Sincerest thanks to the following, without you guys I would not have updated so soon:**

x-iridescene, Vision2, S3r3nity, princess-oro, Anonymous miss, Strawberry Promises, paisita, KK4eva411, k1mst3rr, sweet angel, Imana, mymomo, oro, Nigihayami Haruko, vyki, Miko Kagome, Archer, Nekotsuki, MellysiaVaj, Himura Kamiya Kaoru, Triste1, Chibi, Kiki nel, Blonde Goth, JaneDrew, battosaifreak, Gaudy, Reiignashi, GranolaBar, Videl621, maijen88, Mz. AMber Eyes, erica6060, Jbella, Mi-nyan, animelubber22, Scarlet Rayne, thefutureMrs. Kaiba, half-breed-demon-fox, clamsofmacabre, Kaoru4

**I can't believe so many people reviewed! Thanks for all the encouragement! I hope you like this next chapter! My first Update of the year! Enjoy! **

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**Chapter Two: **

"What are you doing here?"

"Is that the way to treat a long lost brother?" Sano asked with a lazy smile.

Kenshin crossed his arms and stared.

"This is a nice place you have here."

"You can't stay here. There're only two bedrooms. Both are occupied."

"That's okay. I'll take the couch."

Kenshin stared at Sano for a long moment before finally saying, "Get out."

"Nope," Sano said with a grin. "Not until I'm ready. Your dad sends his regards though. He told me I can crash here for a while and since he's paying the rent and all…"

"It's my trust-fund that pays the rent, baka…" Kenshin said as he turned on his heel and stalked back towards his bedroom.

Sano's grin broadened. He tilted his head towards the other room. His smile changed from amused to seductive in the space of heartbeat, "Hmmm…that must be where Jou-chan stays…"

"If you create problems for me, I'll slit your throat while you sleep," Kenshin said just before he reached his bedroom.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Sano said with a roll of his eyes. _Cold bastard hasn't changed a bit._

"Try me."

* * *

Kaoru woke up early the next morning, took a shower and changed clothes for school. She would have preferred to awaken in Kenshin's bed next to him, but the appearance of his stepbrother had put a damper on her plans. After buttoning down her white blouse, she ran a brush through her hair and tied it up in the usual ponytail before heading to kitchen to get some breakfast.

She by-passed the living room, noting the presence of a moving lump underneath a thick blanket on the couch, she realized that it was the man from last night.

He had stayed over.

The kitchen was clean and pleasant and Kaoru saw that there was already food prepared on the kitchen table, while a set of used utensils were soaking on the sink. "Kenshin already ate…" she murmured to the empty room, feeling a bit disappointed. She would have preferred to eat with him.

The amount of food left was enough only for one person so it seemed Kenshin did not make anything for his brother.

As much as Kaoru wanted to remedy that situation she knew better than to cook for their guest. He might not enjoy a trip to the hospital emergency room for food poisoning so early in the morning.

Kaoru decided to leave the food for their guest. She would just go out and have something to eat since her classes didn't really start until later that morning.

* * *

"Your name is Kaoru isn't it?" Sano asked smiling at her from his place on the couch as she passed. He yawned and stretched, the muscles on his sleek, bare torso rippling under smooth tan skin.

Kaoru turned to him and nodded. She blushed, noticing his state of undress but said nothing since he didn't seem the least bit embarrassed. "Yeah it is. Sorry I wasn't able to introduce myself to you properly."

"That's okay. I did drop by pretty late…I'm Sanosuke Sagara by the way, in case you didn't catch my name. Sano would be good."

Kaoru smiled and nodded. "Kaoru."

"This is a very nice apartment you've got here."

"Yes, we feel lucky to have it."

"I especially like the view."

Kaoru bit her lip wondering what to say. He was looking right at her when he'd complimented the view. She felt her face heat up under his gaze.

He chuckled. "You must be pretty special," he said as he moved on the couch and patted the space beside him, inviting her to sit.

"What do you mean?" Kaoru asked, not moving from her spot. She had no intention of getting anywhere within his arm's reach.

"You're probably the first person he wasn't related to that Himura allowed to live with him. He's very particular about his privacy you know, _and_ he really doesn't like people much."

The corner of Kaoru's mouth kicked up in a smile. "You can say that again."

"Oh, so you've noticed?"

"It's a little hard to miss."

Sano laughed and Kaoru found it to be such a beautiful sound. His laugh was big and full of mirth. He seemed to be the kind of guy who loved life and enjoyed himself.

She found herself relaxing and she warmed to him.

* * *

Kenshin had been standing there watching their exchange and he noticed the change in Kaoru's expression. His eyes narrowed in annoyance. However, he did nothing but instead sauntered into the living room, his bag slung over one shoulder.

Sano was the first to notice him, "You're leaving?"

"Kendo."

Kaoru turned to him, smiling. "I'll go with you. It's been a long time since I practiced, I'm probably getting rusty myself."

"If you don't mind Kenshin," Sano piped in, from the couch, "I was thinking of asking your _roommate_ to take me sightseeing around Tokyo. It's been a while since I've last been here."

Kaoru glanced at Sano.

Kenshin glared at his brother. "Why should I mind?"

"Good." Sano said grinning.

"Mou…Kenshin…I thought…"

"Go with him." Himura said shrugging an indifferent expression on his face.

"That's good, neh Jou-chan?" Sano said standing up and grasping her arm. "It sure as hell will beat a morning spent with the ice block over there. You've been spending so much time with him, you'll probably need extra body-heat to help you thaw," he drawled suggestively, a teasing smile on his lips.

Kaoru turned to Sano and then back at Kenshin.

She wanted to scream at Kenshin. _'Don't you care? He's flirting with me and you are letting us be alone together?'_

It would have been all right if it had been trust that motivated him but Kaoru knew better.

He really didn't mind.

This knowledge ate a hole in her already mangled heart.

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Sano had insisted on her accompanying him the rest of the morning and joining him for brunch. As a result, Kaoru had missed almost all of her morning classes. As it was, she was already running late for her Literature class, the halls of the building already deserted except for a few students who had free time.

As she ran past a hallway that led to the bathrooms, Kaoru suddenly found a pair of arms grabbing her from behind and the next thing she knew, her back had hit the wall with just enough force to knock the wind right of her in a whoosh.

"K-Kenshin!" she exclaimed when she saw his face leaning over hers. She felt a prickling of fear as she noticed the amber swirls in his violet eyes and the way he was looking at her.

"You were late. I walked by one of your classes and you weren't there."

Kaoru licked her lips, stunned at the cold amber eyes trained at her. "I…Sano wanted to see some out of the way sights and he wouldn't let me leave I had to…brunch…"

"Will you do whatever he tells you?" Kenshin growled out, his face inches from hers. He was so close that the heat of his breath wafted over her.

If Kaoru took a deep breath, the tips of her breasts would brush up against his chest. One of his hands was braced against the wall, only a few inches from her head. "He's…he's…" she cleared her throat and started again. "I…"

Whatever else Kaoru had been about to say was smothered by Kenshin's lips pressed against hers. Kaoru's eyes widened at the unexpected action and she struggled against his hold. The kiss was harsh, brutal and almost painful.

As if he was punishing her.

She struggled against him, making protesting noises against his lips as she tried to push him away by placing her hands against his chest.

He easily caught her wrists and held them up above her, locking them together above her head with one hand. His other hand he used to touch her face, his palm almost scraping the skin of her cheek as sank his fingers into her hair before tightening them as he yanked down so that her head was tilted further up. This made her gasp at the unexpected pain and Kenshin used the opportunity to slip his tongue inside her lips, his hand angling her head just so.

Kaoru whimpered as the kiss changed from savage to sensual in few heartbeats.

Her protests turned to moans.

His tongue entwined with hers, stroking hers almost lazily as his lips moved in a never-ending dance above hers: molding, sculpting and coaxing her to respond.

Kaoru always did, and her body sagged against his, lost in the maelstrom of sensations he was causing to unravel inside of her. Her back was pressed firmly against the wall, as he pressed his body hard against hers so she felt every single part of his. Her knees buckled and if it weren't for his weight holding her pressed up against the wall, she would have collapsed in a boneless heap on the floor.

He always managed to do this to her.

He affected her senses like no one else could.

She struggled with his hold on her, wanting to bury her fingers in his hair and clasp him closer to her. She didn't care that they were in a hallway and that anyone could walk in on them.

All of her modesty, her fears, her inhibitions, everything faded whenever he touched her. She forgot everything and she ceased to be Kaoru Kamiya and wanted only to be something that was a part of him.

He wouldn't let her go, seemingly enjoying the torment of her need for him. Kaoru hated him for it sometimes, as if he lived to make her realize the extent of her desire, her yearning for him.

It was an eternity before they parted both of their eyes glazed and wild with passion.

Kaoru would have leaned in for another kiss had Kenshin not let go of her arms. They fell to her sides just as he leaned his face closer, molten gold swirling beneath the violet ice of his gaze. "Don't go near him again," he said just before he walked away.

Without his weight to keep her up, Kaoru knees finally collapsed beneath her.

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**A/N: **Hi guys! Whew! Finally this chapter is done! Awww, **_forty_** reviews for only one chapter? You guys are the best! Now you know what to do if you want read more! (laughs evilly) Joke! But seriously, please tell me what you think neh? Do you still like the story or was this chapter disappointing? Please REVIEW! Thank you!


	3. 03

**Piercing Silence **

**Standard Disclaimer Apply**

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Angst, Betrayal, Obssession. Battousai doesn't want anyone to know that he and Kaoru are together. How long will Kaoru be able to tolerate it? Is it because he's a private person or is there more to it than that?

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**WARNING! **This chapter verges on the realm of obsession and might be a little bit darker than what I usually write. The chapter is also very, very limey! So if you are offended with that kind of stuff then please, just don't read this! I don't usually do very limey scenes but some of you guys wanted to know what the heck is going on in Kenshin's head and since this chapter is more of Kenshin's POV, you will be given a glimpse on his obsessive dark side, it had to be done…but don't worry, it's not an all out lemon with too many details. Just _very,_ VERY limey…with that said, if you still want to read then read on. 

**Pairing: **Battousai/Kaoru

**P.S: **Well…you wanted Kenshin's POV so I wrote this for you guys! It's a glimpse of his thoughts…I hope you like it. Very lime/citrus so you have been warned!

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**ATTENTION AUTHORS: **Female Hitokiri Battousai is hosting an RK fiction writing contest, even unfinished stories can be entered so any of you guys who are interested in joining (and I do encourage everyone to join) contact her. Awards to be won are Best Romance, Humor, Drama, Action/Adventure, Angst/Tragedy, Lemon/Lime, Poems, Character POV, Most Eloquent, Most Supernatural, Best Couple, Best alternate Couple. Just contact her, check out her profile. There's a website with all the rules and everything but it probably won't show up if I type it here so just contact FHB! Please Join and make it a success!

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**Chapter Three:**

"_I want to see you."_

"_It's embarrassing…" Kaoru whispered, closing her eyes tightly and trying to ease the rapid pace of her heartbeat._

"_Never hide from me," he whispered as he lowered himself on the bed beside her. Her body was perfect, just like she was and he found that his hands were trembling as he touched her. _

_Kaoru turned her face away with a moan, her cheeks hot with embarrassment. No one had ever touched her like that. No one had ever seen her naked like this before. She felt Kenshin's hand clamp on her face as he turned her back towards him. "Don't turn away from me," he said as he bent his head to kiss her. "Never turn away," he murmured against her lips._

_Kaoru could not think coherently when he was touching, kissing her._

_All she could do was moan and gasp at each sensation._

"_Open your mouth Kaoru," he said as he sucked on her bottom lip. "More…"_

_Kaoru parted her lips and felt his tongue slip in between them to tangle with hers. Lighting bolts of electric pleasure seared throughout her entire body at the action and she moaned as he pressed closer to her and turned to his back so she was lying completely atop of him, his hands free to roam the entire expanse of her smooth back. His hand clamped down on her nape, his fingers caressing the sensitive skin there as he pressed her closer into the kiss._

"_K-Kenshin…" she whimpered._

"_Yes…"_

"_I…don't know…what…how…"_

_Without taking his hands from her, he sat up and continued to kiss all of her he could reach. Her flesh was smooth and warm against his tongue and he fastened his mouth over the upper curve of her breast, sucking the flesh there and knowing it would leave a mark._

_When clothed, no one would be able to see the bruise on Kaoru's skin._

_But he would know it was there._

_And he would know she was his._

_And she would know._

_He angled her body so that her back once more touched the bed and he was once again on top of her, her thighs around his waist. He was still in control, still enjoying the sounds and moans he was eliciting from her. _

_Soft lips trembled as her body arched beneath him trying to grasp something she didn't understand but knew she wanted, needed. "K-Kenshin…" she gasped as her grip on him tightened, her nails digging into his skin._

"_Shhh…" he whispered, his breath a heated kiss over her warmed flesh. He licked her neck and traced the curve of her earlobe before his mouth returned to hers. _

"_I don't…"_

"_I'm here…don't worry…"_

"_Kenshin…"_

"_Do you love me?"_

"_I…" she gasped as another spike of pleasure coursed through her as he moved. "Kenshin…" she groaned as her head fell back, her body arching like a drawn bow._

_He stilled. "Kaoru…"_

"_Please!" she said as she tried to bring herself closer to him._

"_Tell me you love me…"_

_Eyelashes fluttered over sapphire eyes as she let out gasps of frustration…it was so close. She dug her fingers into his skin as he continued to kiss and caress her. "Kenshin…please…"_

"_Do you love me?"_

"_You know I do…only you…"_

"_Tell me."_

"_I love you!" Kaoru gasped out as he sucked on her neck. "I love you."_

"_Only me, Kaoru."_

"_Yes."_

"_Say it."_

"_I only love you."_

"_Who do you belong to?"_

"_You."_

_He smiled to hear those words and told her to open her eyes as he began his motion. _

_He wanted to see her eyes and her face when she came. _

_He wanted to see his reflection mirrored in her sapphire orbs and know that it was him she was looking at. _

_Only him who could bring her this shattering pleasure…_

_Only him. _

_Always him. _

_No one else_

* * *

The room was blanketed in darkness, the half-open blinds letting in a stream of light from the outside in horizontal bars that gilded the bed in strips of silver.

Dark red hair lay like blood on white sheets as amber eyes glowed, glaring up at the ceiling as more graphic images flitted through his mind further feeding the need that was clawing his insides.

His fingers clenched at the need gnawing at him.

He needed her right now, he needed her gasping beneath him and calling out his name, _begging _him to bring her to a release that only he could give.

He stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom, all too aware of the ticking of the alarm clock on his bedside table, slowly counting down the seconds passing by.

He reached out a hand and touched the empty space beside him on the bed.

A space that should have been filled

Kaoru should have been lying there naked right now.

Fuck!

He sat up in bed, trying to control the coils of emotions seething beneath his skin. He wanted to march into her room and take her right then, but Sano was outside and he didn't want Sano to know about Kaoru.

He didn't want Sano anywhere _near_ Kaoru.

She was his damn it!

No one else had the right to touch her or even look at her without his permission.

She belonged to him.

He shoved a hand through his hair feeling frustrated. His palms ached from wanting to feel her smooth skin under him, to feel her lips open up beneath his in a gasp of pleasure as his hands roamed the expanse of her beautiful, milky white flesh.

She was so smooth.

Soft.

Warm.

The first time he'd seen her was in high school when she was a freshman and he'd been a junior. She had walked into the kendo club, training hall with her jaunty steps and a smile on her face as she introduced herself as Kamiya Kaoru. He hadn't paid much attention to her then. He didn't pay much attention to anything but improving his skills and not being weak.

He wanted to be the best.

Undefeatable.

But every day she was always there, always with her laughter and her smile and her warmth. She wasn't like the other girls who followed him around incessantly, annoying him with their mindless banter.

She was different and he noted that, but that was all.

He didn't want to get close to her.

It happened though.

Against his will, better judgment and against all logic, she managed to get close to him without even trying.

What was it about her that consumed him so much?

His hands tightened as his body reminded him of how hungry he was for her. Her face, her voice, her laughter, her moans, her screams, her smell, her taste, her feel, he wanted all of her.

Everything she was.

He wanted to own her.

Kaoru was his and no one else was allowed to touch her.

His need to posses her frightened him.

If he could just tie her up in bed and keep her away from everyone else, he would have done so by now.

What was it about her that drove him to these insane thoughts?

He hated her sometimes for the control she had over him.

She distracted him from his goals.

He'd tried leaving her, distancing himself from her but it was never enough. She called to him like a siren and desire always sang in his blood just at the sight of her, just at the slightest lingering scent of her skin on his.

_Kaoru…what the fuck are you doing to me?_

* * *

Kenshin was vaguely aware of the light seeping in from the blinds. It was a reddish orange hue that signaled in the dawning of a new day.

He felt empty, frustrated and completely unsatisfied. Hisviolet eyesglinted an amber hue as it looked to the world from narrowed slits of his eyelids.

A glance at the alarm clock that had not yet rung confirmed that it was indeed morning.

Left with nothing else to do but wallow in his anger and frustration, he decided it was best to just get up and do something useful instead of letting his mind torture him with images of Kaoru who was so close and yet so far.

All because of that stupid chicken shit Sanosuke who was loafing on the sofa.

The light amber that had swirled beneath the violet of his eyes intensified until it was a burning pure gold. Kenshin took some time to breath and calm himself before he left his bedroom.

He would fix breakfast for himself and Kaoru, at least that would keep him busy.

A small smile crept in his face at the thought of how inept Kaoru was in the kitchen. She was too eager to get to the end, she had no patience for the details and was always trying to hurry things along, chopping vegetables carelessly without thought of their measurement and how each one should be uniform.

She cooked meet in the same way, sometimes concentrating on one portion without any thought to the other parts that needed attention as well. That was the reason why most of her efforts ended up with out side burnt and the other side still bleeding and raw.

It was really all about patience. Waiting for the right time to add an ingredient, letting it settle before adding another one. It was all in the timing. Knowing when to flip the meat, to stir the broth or just let it simmer on its own in the heat of the flame.

Kenshin closed his eyes, the small smile turning wicked. How perverted was he that he made even cooking sound Hentai?

As he passed the living room, a movement from the lump under the cover in the sofa caught hisattention and all expression left his face once more.

Sano.

How long was he planning to stay anyway? Kenshin didn't think he'd be able to tolerate the other man's presence for long. Not when Sano kept looking at Kaoru and flirting with her.

Kenshin was afraid his temper would get the best of him and he might end up hurting his stepbrother.

What was he even doing there?

Kenshin turned to head for the kitchen but his eye caught the light shining from underneath the door of the bathroom in the hallway. He and Kaoru had their own bathrooms adjoining their rooms…but then he remembered that her shower was broken and she always used the one in his room.

But she couldn't because of Sano.

Kaoru was taking a bath so early? It didn't matter. Kenshin's feet moved even before he registered what he was doing and before he knew it, he had the set of house keys in his hand.

His movements were graceful and deadly silent as he slipped the key through the keyhole and turned the lock.

* * *

She was in the bathroom.

He opened the door silently and stepped inside.

Kaoru was just finishing up her shower when she realized someone else had come inside. With a small yelp, she turned around to see Kenshin slowly taking off his shirt, his eyes trained on her.

"K-Kenshin…" Kaoru said as she stepped back, her bare back hitting the cold tile of the shower wall. She blinked at him. "What are you doing here?"

He cocked one dark red eyebrow at her, "I should think you'd already know the answer to that by now Kaoru."

Her face heated up as her senses ignited with that one small statement from him. "Sano is out there…I thought you didn't want him or anyone else to know?"

A disinterested shrug as he took the shirt off of his body. "He's sleeping."

The water continued to beat down her body and she wiped the moisture off of her face when she realized it was clouding her vision of him. God, why was he so beautiful? Why was he so perfect? Why did she need him so much? "We'll wake him up…" Kaoru protested. "He might walk in here."

"I locked the door."

"He could _wake up_ Kenshin!" Kaoru said, her temper flaring as she glared at the redhead. It was too early in the morning for this. She was mad at him.

She was tired of his stupid games.

Why was she even still here?

The smart thing to do was to pack her bags and leave him…but she knew he'd find her and bring her back.

He would never allow her to leave him.

And if he did…

Then she would be even more devastated.

_Why do I love you so much, damn you! Why do you make me feel like you need me to live one moment and then throw me away the next? I hate you and I hate myself for letting you do this to me!_

Kenshin stepped into the shower stall with her and pressed his body against hers, kissing her neck, holding her possessively in his arms.

Kaoru moaned at the sensations he evoked in her. Her brain cells were getting fried again and she let out one more token protest before she capitulated.

"He'll hear us and he'll know what we're doing in here!" she said, embarrassed at the prospect of Sano knowing what they were doing.

Of course Kaoru wanted everyone to know that she and Kenshin were together, but that didn't mean she wanted everyone privy to the details of the more intimate part of their relationship. "He'll know Kenshin…"

Kenshin licked her open lips, his tongue dragging along her cheeks until he sucked on the skin just below her ear.

Kaoru gasped, her knees melting.

Kenshin kept her up by pushing her harder against the cold, wet tile wall. "No, he won't hear us," he said with a small smile as he dipped his head lower.

His eyes were golden and his red hair was like dark blood running down his face.

His eyelashes, long and thick, were spiked with moisture and Kaoru felt her heart contract at the heartbreaking picture of beauty that he made.

"Yes he will," she hissed at him even as she felt her body respond as it always did, to his presence.

"No he won't,"Kenshin whispered against her lips, "Not if you're very, very _quiet…_"

* * *

.

**A/N: **This is turning into smut, isn't it? (sigh) I'm sorry if you think this story is turning crappy, but it had to be written for you to see the dark almost animal possessiveness Kenshin feels for our dear Kaoru. The very first part of the chapter is actually just a flashback. Don't worry, there is a plot somewhere in here I just wanted to write a dark version of Kenshin, I think he's sexy although in real life it would kind of suck to be in Kaoru's position right now with a boyfriend who is like Kenshin in this story.

But don't worry, **there is a reason** and **a really good reason to his behavior **too! Any guesses what it is? (grins) I wrote this spur of the moment because I got inspired by all your reviews… Gosh, **93 **for only two chapters? I love you people…so you know the drill, if you want to read more Review! (evil laugh) Lol! Please read the review responses…

* * *

**I love my REVIEWERS! You guys are the best! EVER! Thanks so much, without your reviews I would not have updated so soon! **

**Miko Kagome Archer:** Hi! Thanks for your review! Yup, but there is a reason why Kenshin is acting this way…any guesses?

**Nekotsuki**: Hi! Here you are, the next chapter! Oh and by the way, I think you _did _review the first chapter, I remember 'coz I wrote your name on the people I thanked for reviewing and encouraging me. Thanks again and please review!

**GranolaBar**: Hi! Thank you so much for always supporting my stories and here you go, the next chapter. I hope you like it and please review and tell me what you think!

**MZ**. **Amber** **EYES**: If you thought Kenshin was a babe before…how's he rank now? Was my portrayal of him in this chapter nice or a little disturbing? In this story he is kind of scary in a way…but there is a reason though. Please tell me what you think of this chapter!

**half**-**breed**-**demon**-**fox**: Hi! Thank you, thank you so much for always reviewing my stories! I hope you liked this chapter and pls tell me what you thought of it! Thank you!

**kimi**.**the**.**water**.**spirit**.: Hi! Oh I'm so glad you review my stories! By the way, since you wanted to know the reasoning and feelings behind Kenshin's behavior, I thought I'd let you catch a glimpse of what's going on in his head with this chapter! I hope you enjoyed it and please tell me what you thought! Thank you!

**Himura Kamiya Kaoru:** Hi there! I already updated Only With You, if you haven't seen it yet it's already out so please review there too! (grins) anyway, since you wanted a chapter that is mainly Kenshin's POV, I thought I should write one so this is the result of your and other people's reviews and requests; a glimpse into Kenshin's mind. I hope you liked it!

**Vision2**: Awww, I was so flattered when I read your review! It really exceeded your expectation? I hope this one did too…oh well, I hope you are still enjoying the story and please tell me what you think! Thanks!

**EB**: Hi! I'm glad you love my story and took the time to review! I hope you like this next chapter and please tell me what you think!

**erica6060**: Hi there! I'm glad you liked this story. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please tell me what you think!

**Reignashii**: Hi! (hands tissue to wipe off drool from last chapter) hehehehe…Hmmm, so what did you think about this next chapter? Do you like it? Hate it? Please review!

**Clamsofmacabre**: Hi! (hugs) thank you so much for always reviewing, I really appreciate it! I hope you liked this next chapter and please review!

**Chibi** **KiKi**: No Sano in this chapter…but lots of possessive Kenshin! (smiles) so, what did you think? Did you like it? Please review.

**Kaoru4**: Thanks so much for always reviewing my stories! I really appreciate it! Yeah, no Megumi in sight as of yet…no Sano here though but there is a lot of Kenshin and his POV! I hope you liked this chapter and it lives up to the other two previous chapters.

**Anonymous**: You didn't put a name on the review so I just named you anonymous! (smiles) well, Kenshin and Kaoru have been together two years or so…since Kaoru started college and they lived together. I really love your review, it made me laugh and smile and I'm so glad that you are enjoying my story! I really appreciate the effort you took to write a review and I hope this chapter isn't disappointing and lives up to the other previous two.

**Paisita**: Hopefully, some of your questions have been answered in this little chapter. I can't reveal too much because itmight ruin the impact of the upcoming chapters but I would just like to say I really appreciate your reviews and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!

**x**-**iridescence**: Nice narrative! (smiles) I hate it when that happens! Usually when I go to a story and then it says seven chapters but when I click there's only six, I type it on the address and it usually comes up! (Hehehe) Anyway, I hope you like this chapter!

**Clemen**: Hi! Thank you so much for always reviewing my fics! I hope you liked this chapter and hopefully it shed some light on Kenshin's perspective.

**Keiko**: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you love the story and I hope you like this next chapter as well!

**kenshin's** **grl**: Hi! When you thought the last chapter was intense…what do you think of this one? Did you like it? Hate it? I hope you enjoyed reading it! Please tell me what you think about the chapter! Thanks!

**Nel**: NEL! You THINK MY WRITING IS GETTING BETTER! YAY! (jumps up and down) I'm so happy I'm improving! Really? Which stories of mine did you read in the past? I'm so glad you think I'm getting better at this! Oh and by the way, did you like the possessive K/K moments of this chapter? Please review! (grins)

**An** **LOTR** **Freak**: Hi there! You're searching for your own story ideas? Well it will come to you, I usually just get ideas by random, like when me and my friends are at the mall and I see a couple that walking and a story pops into my head…something like that. I'm not sure I'm the best one to give you advice since in my opinion I'm not that good a writer but I'm sure you'll be able to write your own story and it will be fabulous! (grins) I guess just take time to notice things like little moments between people…and then go from there. I love character development even more than the plot of a story. Btw, Legolas is so cute!

**Jbella: **Hi there! (sheepish smile) here I am with another update. (sigh) My fingers are killing me but I love writing this story too! Also, there is a reason why Kenshin is behaving that way…and I hope this chapter shed new light into Kaoru and Kenshin's complicated relationship! (grins) Please review!

**Animegurl****23**: Hi there! There's a reason why Kenshin/Battousai is acting the way he is…any guesses? As always, thanks so much for your reviews. You've been reviewing my stories from the start and I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Nilnil**: Kenshin has a reason and you'll find out as the story progresses…thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please tell me what you think!

**kirie**-**kun**: Yeah, I am soooo GREEDY! LOL! I practically feed on reviews! It's my way of knowing that people actually do come and read the drivel that I write! (grins) I'm so happy you like this story and your review made me smile! Kenshin has a reason for being the way he is but you'll have to wait to find out why (cackles evilly) anyway, thanks for the review because it gives me inspiration! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review!

**scythe195**: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm glad you find my story interesting, please review!

**Oyuki**: Thanks so much for the review! By the way, does you name mean anything? I'm wondering…but I digress, I hope you like this chapter and enjoyed the glimpse of Kenshin's mind. Please review and tell me what you think!

**Scarlet** **Rayne**: Hey there! Oh I just received your E-mail and let me just say you go girl! Yeah, I like receiving reviews too! Don't we all? Lol! I hope you liked this chapter and please review!

**Battosaifreak**: Hi! I hope you still like this story! Did this chapter seem like random smut? Sorry, I just wanted to paint a picture of Kenshin's POV as it is right now and how he sees Kaoru…anyway I hope you liked this chapter and please tell me what you think.

**Pinay** **Tiger**: Hi girl! Yeah, not really much free time but I usually finish one chapter in a few hours if I'm inspired and yeah, well I type pretty fast and I never do Homework at home. I usually do it the next day at school (I'm so bad) because I always talk on the phone for hours on end, my brother hates it but who cares about him? (grins) There's a contest Female Hitokiri Battousai is hosting and I think you should enter your story under Best Romance, Most Eloquent, Action Adventure, Drama! Agh, I just love Unsaid Words Through Innocent Eyes, it's so lyrical you should submit it because you have a good chance at winning!

**Triste1**: Hi! As usual, your review was inspiring. I really like how you point out the stuff that you like in my story and writing. It makes me want to write better so thank you for your thoughtful reviews! They are very helpful to me! Oh and I checked the grammar of this and I hope I didn't miss anything…please point out some stuff if I missed them. Thanks!

**Strawberry** **Promises**: Oh yeah it so absolutely means something! I'm glad you caught on that little hint! (big smile) Okay, I hope you also enjoyed this chapter and please review and tell me what you thought of it, thanks!

**Bradybunch4529**: Oh my gosh, I love your review. The words Raw Emotion, really inspired me to write and get this chapter out as soon as I could! Thank you so much for supporting my stories, I really appreciate it and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!

**Mymomo**: Don't worry, as of right now, I would really like to finish all my stories, it might take time but I hope to do it eventually. You're right, it all boils down to that question and there is a good reason to it. I only hope you enjoy the journey of finding more and more about the characters in this story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please tell me what you think! Thanks!

**JaneDrew**: Hi Jane! As always thanks for supporting my stories, I appreciate it so much! Anyway, since you wanted Kenshin's POV, here you are, a deeper look into Kenshin's mind. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review! I love reading your long reviews /hint, hint/ (big smile).

**Tanya**: hi! I'm glad you like my story and I hope you enjoy this one too! Please review!

**Lala**: Kenshin will open up in a while…but a lot of things have to happen first before then so I hope you continue to support this story! Thanks so much, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review!

**kaze08**: Hi! Here you go, another update! I hope you liked this chapter, please review!

**Videl621**: Hi Videl! No Sano in this chapter but lots of steamy Kenshin goodness! LOL! I hope you liked this chapter and it didn't disappoint, thanks so much for your support and please review!

**venus** **goddess**: (Gasp) Oh my gosh, I love your review! It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Yeah, I love dark romances as well even though I would rarely like to be in the woman's place and suffering all that anxious trepidation and doubt as well as overwhelming love. Ah, the gothic romance goodness. (grins) I don't get to read much of those though…if you can recommend some authors and stories I would be really grateful! I'm so happy that I am one of your favorites, it's such an honor, especially since you're quite choosy with the authors/stories you put there (even though I doubt I deserve it). I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you!

**Kao**-**gurl**: Thanks girl! I hope you liked this next chapter too! So, did you like Kenshin here? Hmmm? (grins) please review and tell me what you think! Thanks!

**MellysiaVaj**: Oh thanks so much for liking my story. I appreciate it! Yeah, I'm Asian. Filipino-Chinese, female, but I consider myself more Filipino than Chinese. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!

**Indygodusk**: Well Sano is Kenshin's step brother so I suppose she felt she had to make a good impression on his family and Kenshin did tell her to go with Sano, right? Anyway, I'm so glad you like this story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review and tell me what you thought of it!

**princess-oro:** I know, Kenshin's such an ass in this story isn't he? But he sure is sexy! (grins) I love him when he's Battousai! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!

**Crystal** **Winds: **And you thought the last chapter was hot…what do you think of this one? (grins) Yeah, well I had to write it because its Kenshin's POV so its much darker and uhm…hot I suppose than Kaoru's view. Did you like it? Hate it? Please review!

**Fire** **Kitsune**: Since I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer, I updated! I hope you liked the story! Please review!

**SailorKagome**:Really, you're hooked? Thanks! I'm glad you enjoy this story and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!

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Okay, you know the equation…reviews equals inspired Scented Candles equals quicker updates! So if you want to read more…**REVIEW**! (fox ears pop out) Ohohohohoho! 


	4. 04

**Piercing Silence **

**Standard Disclaimer Apply**

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Angst, Betrayal, Obsession. Battousai doesn't want anyone to know that he and Kaoru are together. How long will Kaoru be able to tolerate it? Is it because he's a private person or is there more to it than that?

* * *

**A/N: **Lengthy Review Responses down below, please read that and also…I apologize in advance for any errors in spelling or grammar. I did try to weed them out but if some escaped, I apologize. I think I need a beta-reader because I can't seem to catch all the errors on my own. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

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. 

**Chapter Four:**

Kaoru sat in her bed, dressed to go to school, but it was still early too early. She had arranged her schedule at the beginning of the semester so she would have a lot of time to sleep in during mornings. Kaoru's cheeks tinted red as she recalled exactly _why _she'd had to do that. She had been late so many times during the past semester, all thanks to Kenshin's late night endeavors.

Thoughts of earlier this morning flitted through her mind, further adding to the rush of blood coloring her cheeks.

Kenshin had left about an hour ago after taking a shower.

It was a good thing Sano hadn't woken up.

Kami, it had been torture to keep herself quiet.

The truth was, she hadn't succeeded at all.

If it weren't for Kenshin covering her mouth with his to absorb her screams and moans, Kaoru was sure Sano would know _exactly_ what was happening inside the bathroom. At that time, she'd been beyond caring if the whole building heard her.

Her blood heated at the memory of their encounter and she felt vaguely ashamed that she enjoyed it. It wasn't tender…it wasn't loving…it was a desperate joining, a possession, an answer to a primal need.

Was it love?

Kaoru liked to think it was…but lately…she'd been having doubts.

It wasn't always like that, so raw and almost unbridled. No, there were times when he was slow and tender, when he bathed her senses and seemed to be content to just touch her and be with her and have her near him.

Lately though…lately his actions had become rather, Kaoru didn't know exactly how to describe it.

Only that it scared her in some ways, and excited her in others.

The realization left a bad taste in her mouth.

What was happening to her?

What was wrong with her?

Who was she?

What has she become?

She collapsed on top of her bed and closed her eyes, covering her face with her hands and feeling her heated skin beneath her palms. "What the heck am I doing?" she mumbled to herself.

When she was a little girl, she hadn't really pictured her first romantic relationship to be like this.

She had pictured flowers, chocolates, walking home together with her boyfriend's arm around her shoulder.

Laughing when he narrowed his eyes at any man who dared even glance her way.

Kissing him in public…nothing fierce or passionate…just a light peck on the cheek, a small brief kiss on the lips…just for the simple reason that she had a right to.

Everyone would know and they would tease her because she was so deliriously happy and so deliciously in love.

"But that's not what's happening, is it?"

It was probably better for her in every way if she just got out of this relationship.

"How long can I go on, surviving on the scraps of his affection?"

Everyday, a little piece of her self crumbled away.

Her self respect.

Her soul.

Day by day a part of her dies at his continuous denial.

The mental and emotional repercussions of his actions were great and yet he seemed not to see or care as he continued to negate their relationship. He acts cold towards her most of the time; that is if they weren't in bed.

When he touched her, he burned, his icy façade melting in the inferno of his need and hers.

He was a fire that consumed her and obliterated everything in its path. She lost herself to him and to his need as something inside of her answered to his call.

Always, she answers to him.

She wanted to bring him comfort.

She wanted to tame the flames that seemed to eat at him, burning him alive and pushing him towards a goal she didn't really know, let alone understand.

But Kaoru was beginning to realize that the price of this was too great. She was losing herself in the process.

Her dignity.

Her spirit.

Her pride.

The very essence of Kaoru Kamiya, she was losing sight of who she was.

It was not healthy for her to stay with him. She knew that and yet…she could not seem to leave. Perhaps she was a fool to believe he loved her. Maybe she was reading too much into his eyes, his silences, the way he would whisper her name when he was asleep.

Try as she might, she found she could no longer leave him.

He had succeeded in binding her to him.

He was now an integral part of her existence and Kaoru felt that she would perish without him.

The thought sickened her.

When had their relationship shifted to into something so destructive?

It had started out so perfectly.

They had been friends and she had loved him.

Now, they were more than friends, and there were times when she had never hated anyone more.

Still she stayed because she loved him.

Because she felt like he needed her.

Because she needed him too…

* * *

. 

Sano knocked on the door but no one answered so he opened it. It was Kaoru's room and he noted the lack of ruffles and frills. There was nothing pink in the room, which he liked. The thing was, the room barely looked lived in, as if she didn't spend much time there at all. Finishing his perusal, he turned his attention towards the bed where Kaoru was lying.

Her jeans fit well, managing to hint at long slender legs without actually hugging her figure. Her shirt had ridden up in her reclining position with her arm thrown over her face. He could see a small patch of her pale, flat stomach.

"Now if it would rise a couple of more inches, I'd be very grateful…" Sano said, leaning his tall frame against her doorway and crossing his arms.

Kaoru jerked to a sitting position, surprised to hear his voice. She turned to him and frowned. "What are you doing here?"

"I knocked, but no one answered. I was checking to see if someone was here."

"Well now you know."

He didn't move.

"What do you want?"

"I was lonely Jou-chan, I don't have much company…" Sano pouted, knowing most women liked it when he did.

No reaction, she just stared at him.

Sano uncrossed his arms and walked inside the room. He sat down on Kaoru's bed, just at the edge so he didn't crowd her.

He smiled.

She just kept looking at him, not smiling back but not frowning either.

Kaoru took notice that his hair was still wet. He'd probably just gotten out of the shower. His hair, instead of standing up, fell about his face in dark damp strands. It actually looked better on him and for a moment, she was arrested by Sano's own brand of beauty. He was different from Kenshin; his coloring was darker and less exotic.

His features were strong and even, they were not beautiful like Kenshin's but Kaoru couldn't deny that Sano was very handsome.

That wasn't why she liked him though.

It was his attitude that she liked.

She remembered how she liked his laughter and the way his eyes sparkled when he smiled. He was fun company to keep. He teased her and made her laugh quite a lot that time when she had given him a brief tour of Tokyo.

She felt bad she couldn't see him any more.

With a start, she realized he reminded her of her self.

Of who she used to be.

_I used to smile like that, didn't I?_

_I use to laugh…_

_I used to be like that...so carefree._

What was she now? A tired, empty shell of the girl Kenshin fell in love with? She didn't know herself anymore sometimes. She still liked to think she was the same Kaoru, but the Kaoru she knew was proud, spirited, fiery and free. She would never tolerate this kind of treatment from anyone.

Not even her boyfriend.

And yet here she was, still with him.

Still with Kenshin…

Kaoru turned away and concentrated on looking down at her feet.

"Are you avoiding me?" Sano asked after a moment.

Kaoru could feel his eyes, like lasers, scorching her skin. She didn't answer him. She'd made it plain enough as day that she'd rather he not seek her out. She didn't want to have to spell it out for him. He wouldn't understand and Kaoru didn't want to have to explain her self to him.

What was she going to say?

Kenshin forbade it?

The very fact that she was following Kenshin's will made Kaoru hate herself, but what could she do? She didn't want to create any more waves in their already volatile relationship.

Sano reached out to touch her cheek.

Kaoru pulled away and stood up, crossing her arms. He shouldn't be in her room, shouldn't be sitting on her bed. She glared at him. "You keep your hands to yourself."

His hand fell, one dark eyebrow lifted in inquiry as Sano's head tilted to the side. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Now leave my room," Kaoru said.

"I always knew there was a little spit fire in there somewhere…" Sano said with a smile, but he made no move to leave. He continued to study her, his eyes never wavering, as he seemed to peer into the depths of her soul.

"Stop it," Kaoru said, feeling suddenly violated by his gaze. There was nothing sexual about it. It was more of a violation of her mind.

His gaze seemed to penetrate her defenses, peeling away all her protective layers until she was naked and vulnerable to him. He seemed to see all of her, even the thoughts she kept hidden, locked away in the darkest corners of her psyche.

Thoughts she herself refused to acknowledge for she was afraid of them.

"I'm not doing anything."

"Get out, Sanosuke…" Kaoru bit out, her blue eyes narrowing.

Kami, what was happening to her?

Why was she being like this?

She didn't even recognize the tone of voice she had used!

Panic and something akin to despair gripped her, but she forced the feelings away.

"Not before you tell me why you're avoiding me," Sano said quietly as he studied her. She seemed to sway before him. There was an almost frantic look in her eyes that hadn't been there before. Why was his presence so upsetting to her? "Look Jou-chan, I like you but…I was just flirting, okay? It didn't mean anything…you don't have to be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you."

Her words had the ring of truth.

She seemed even slightly amused at his presumption.

Sano's brows creased, "Then why are you so afraid?"

"Just get out. Don't come near me, okay?" Kaoru said as she turned away.

Sano studied her for a long moment before he asked quietly, "Who are you to Kenshin?"

It took all of Kaoru's control not to stiffen. "I'm his roommate."

Thick, choking silence ensued.

Strong arms enfolded her from behind and Kaoru found herself drawn backwards in a warm embrace. It was gentle, so gentle and restful that she felt tears gather in her eyes for no reason whatsoever. He was warm and that small little gesture seemed to break something inside of her, letting loose all the emotions she'd withheld for so long.

It had been such a long time since someone just held her like this. Held her because she was a human being and human beings were supposed to give comfort to one another.

She could feel Sano's even breathing with the steady rise and fall of his chest against her back and the puffs of air that tickled her ear and neck. She felt almost detached and numb as she soaked in Sano's warmth.

"Take care of yourself Jou-chan," he said quietly against her hair, before he let her alone.

The door closed softly behind him.

Kaoru found herself standing alone in the middle of her room .

Crying.

* * *

. 

Kaoru's day had not started well and it seemed a portent of how the rest of her day would go. Kaoru had visited Kenshin in the training dojo at the university thinking they could go back home together. Perhaps grab dinner somewhere. It didn't matter if people saw them; it was expected since she was his supposed best friend. That was okay, Kaoru would know they were on a date and that was all that really mattered to her.

His teammates greeted her as she bowed and entered the training hall, removing her shoes as she went. Kenshin was practicing with someone. Even though they wore protective gear and face-guards, she could tell it was he because of his movements and the red hair peeking from beneath the head-guard. She sat down on one of the low wooden benches that lined the side of the room and watched him as he thrust and parried with grace and speed.

She could tell he was holding back and toying with his opponent in an almost bored fashion. It was glaringly obvious that Kenshin was better skilled than his sparing partner.

Most of his teammates already knew who Kaoru was and greeted her by name, asking how she was and how her training was going. They too knew that she practiced kendo as well but was taking a break from it for the time being.

She didn't get any acknowledgement from Kenshin, not even a slight nod.

That was to be expected though.

He never acknowledged anyone's existence.

The fact that he actually, although rarely, gave her a nod or a smile, was no small feat.

One of his teammates, Shin Taoka, had tried asking Kaoru out quite a few times in the past. He was older than Kenshin by one year and considered to be a good catch. He was from a good family, studying to become a doctor. He was kind and was always smiling. Kaoru had turned him down quite a number of times but he didn't seem to get the idea.

There was one time he'd even tried asking her out in front of Kenshin.

Even going so far as to ask Kenshin to convince Kaoru to say yes, asking his help because he was Kaoru's best friend.

Kaoru didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the situation.

If only Shin had known…he was asking Kaoru's _boyfriend _to convince Kaoru to go out with him.

"_I'll be the best boyfriend you've ever had!" Shin said as he held her hand in his. "I'll take care of you and I promise I'll never hurt you or make you cry…"_

"_Kenshin help me out will you? TellKaoru-chan I can be trusted…"_

"_I like you Kaoru, I really do. You'll make me the happiest person if you'll just give me a chance…that's all I ask…"_

"Hi," he said as he sat down next to her. His brown hair was neat and his green eyes were warm as they regarded her from beneath the thick fringe of his eyelashes.

"Hello, did you finish training?" Kaoru asked, taking her eyes off of Kenshin and smiling at Shin.

"Sensei wants to have a mini-tournament to gauge our skills, I just finished my round so I'm taking a breather."

"You won, didn't you," Kaoru guessed. She had seen him in the past and knew he was very good and very skilled. Everyone in the kendo club was exceptionally good. It was the best team in the country and one of the reasons why Kenshin had opted to study at this particular university.

Shin gave her a dimpled smile, seemingly embarrassed. "Yeah well…I got lucky. How about you, have you been practicing? I heard you stopped."

"Just for a little while. I've been busy…too much stuff going on."

"I can help you out, if you want," he offered.

Kaoru nodded and turned away from him, looking straight ahead.

Why couldn't she fall in love with someone like Shin?

He liked her.

He was nice.

She knew if she had been his girlfriend, the entire world would know about it.

He'd take her hand while they walked.

He'd give her flowers and chocolates

Most important of all…

He'd tell her he loved her each and every single day.

But Kaoru didn't love him.

She loved Kenshin.

Kaoru felt a hand touch hers and she was surprised to see that Shin was touching her, holding her hand in his. She looked up to find herself looking at his kindly green eyes. She could see he truly did care for her and she smiled softly at him.

Sadly.

_If things had been different…maybe if I had met you first…_

The smile did not go unnoticed by Kenshin. Although he did not acknowledge her, he had been aware of her since the moment she arrived. He was always aware of her, her presence, what she was doing. He always knew. Just because he kept silent didn't mean he was blind. He had seen Shin touch Kaoru.

And now, she was smiling at him.

_Smiling_ at _Shin_.

Violet eyes narrowed.

"You seem kind of sad…what's wrong?" Shin asked.

"I…"

A sharp sound and a loud cry of pain broke off their conversation as Kenshin's sparring partner collapsed on the floor with a dull thud. Kaoru stood up, a knee-jerk reaction to being surprised and concerned. Shin's hand fell from hers as she unconsciously tugged hers away when she had moved. Everyone was mumbling and the sound of murmurs could be heard as the teacher called for the medic.

"Is he alright…?"

"He's fine, he just lost consciousness. The blow was hard…but it was well placed, it won't do any permanent damage."

Kenshin took off his headgear.

Everyone was murmuring about the great skill of Battousai. He'd managed to defeat his opponent in a single blow, rendering him unconscious without even trying.

He was like a Hitokiri of old, in that regard.

Undefeatable.

"Winner, Himura Kenshin."

Applause.

Kenshin bowed respectfully before stepping out of the mat laid-out in the middle of the dojo.

"Next match, Uchida and Fujimoto…"

* * *

. 

Kaoru's hand lifted to touch the mark he'd given her earlier that morning. She had mark on her shoulder where he'd kissed her and sucked on her flesh. He was fond of giving her marks, invisible ones only she could see.

Maybe she wasn't good enough for him?

Perhaps that was why he wanted to keep their relationship a secret.

Kami knew, everyone saw Kenshin as perfect.

Beautiful.

Strong.

Smart.

His only real flaw was the fact that he was silent and cold…but for the women, it was no flaw at all but an added attraction that gave him an air of mystery. Kaoru sighed as she walked beside him. "The match was good…but did you have to knock your opponent unconscious?" she inquired, curious.

"Yes."

"Why? Do you dislike him? I rarely see you lose control like that…"

He was silent, but Kaoru could tell that what she had said displeased him.

"Ken-san! Ken-san!"

A group of girls hurried towards them.

Oh great, just what she needed. Kaoru took a step to the side so as not to be run-over by his fan girls. They seemed to have the uncanny ability to block out everything else except Kenshin and they had been known to knock down teachers, pets and even plants as they rushed to him.

Kenshin didn't stop walking.

He reached out and touched Kaoru's shoulder, propelling her forward in front of him as he went.

Kaoru turned to look at the girls who did not seem to mind Kenshin's rudeness towards them.

Why did they continue to like Kenshin despite the fact that he wasn't nice to them?

But then again…why did she?

Why did she love him so much?

Why did it have to hurt so badly?

She remembered the look in Shin's eyes. Warm, caring, light…it was a soft glow, not like the raging fires in Kenshin eyes. And yet she still preferred Kenshin, despite all rational thought.

It was Kenshin she loved.

Kenshin she belonged to.

It was like an addiction. He was her addiction, corrupting her and slowly dragging her down in a path where she completely lost herself. As it was now, she was barely clinging to the last vestiges of who she was.

She had always been so cheerful.

Now, everyone kept asking her why she was so sad…if she was okay.

Her relationship with Kenshin had always been a complicated, but his behavior lately was not something she was used to.

Perhaps Sano's presence was pushing Kenshin?

Kaoru didn't understand but he seemed more feral somehow, less contained. It didn't make sense. He was controlled though, controlled and still as cold as ever, if not more so. Still, there was a leashed tension that pulsed around him. He was like a volcano that could blow any second.

The peaceful balance they had reached in their relationship was being tilted somewhat.

Was Kenshin jealous of Sano?

Was that the reason for his increasingly odd behavioral patterns of late?

The almost explosive possessiveness he sometimes displayed?

It would be nice…but at the same time, Kaoru knew she didn't want Kenshin to be jealous of Sano. He should know that she was his. Kami knew, even as mad as she was with him with all the grief and confusion he gave her, she still wanted to be with Kenshin and she didn't want anything to threaten that.

_What's wrong with me?_ Kaoru wondered to herself. Where was the fierce, prideful, idealistic girl she had been?

What was she now?

How could she let herself live this kind of life and be in a relationship that was so obviously not good for her?

She felt the warmth of Kenshin's hand on her shoulder as he guided her forward and further away from his unwanted fans.

"Let's go out to eat…my treat since you won," Kaoru said as she turned to smile at him. She moved to walk beside him once more.

Kenshin turned to look at her for a moment before he nodded. "Arigato."

Kaoru smiled.

_What kind of person am I?_

* * *

. 

**A/N: **I could end this fic with that last line, don't you think? But it would be too sad and almost bittersweet so I won't. Besides, there's Kenshin's secrets and stuff to be revealed so…anyway…I wrote most of this in one sitting so I'm not sure it it's up to par with you guys.

I know I'm supposed to update Belonging but I got inspired to write this fic so I had to do it! I hope you like it. I kind of get scared every time I update this fic because I'm afraid you guys will be disappointed. Oh well…I hope you guys enjoyed this!

**What are your reactions to Sano's hug and his parting words?**

**Kenshin managed to knock out his sparring partner…notice the timing…he was taking out his anger at Shin for touching Kaoru on his poor sparring partner. **(Bad Kenshin! Bad!)

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**Review Responses:**

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. 

**Ri-nee-chan – **Well I do hope this update is fast enough for you. (smiles) Your idea is very doable and I might use it on the upcoming chapters! Thanks for the idea! Oh yeah, I can just see Kenshin fuming because of that. I'm glad you enjoy my story and I hope you are not disappointed with this chapter.

**Reder 101 – **Wow! High praise indeed! I'm glad you like my story and I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations. Thank you so much, your comment warmed my heart!

**Plaridel – **Well, you must admit Sano has his uses! LOL! I love possessive fics too! Thanks so much for saying this is your favorite! I just hope this chapter lives up to your expectations! Thanks so much for the support! Please tell me what you think of this chapter.

**Alex – **Yeah, it was wasn't it? I love Kenshin when he's possessive too. Seems so sexy! (drools) Ehem! Anyway, I'm gad you like this fic. I was afraid the last chapter would seem kind of smutty but I'm glad you didn't find it so. Thanks so much for the encouragement and please tell me what you thought of this chapter!

**Princess-oro – **I think he's a cross of both. He's one sexy beast! LOL! There's actually a movie of that title, Sexy Beast…at least I think so…hmmm…but anyway, Kenshin is way hot when he's golden eyed! Yes, Aoshi, Megumi and Misao are going to make an appearance.

**Star0704 – **Thanks for the review! There is a reason why Kenshin doesn't want their relationship known. As for Kaoru taking some action, don't worry, she will…sooner or later. She's battling with her immense love for Kenshin…and the fact that she feels that he needs her. I hope this chapter shed some light on her persona and why she stays. Please tell me what you thought of it.

**Himura Kamiya Kaoru – **Oh you changed place with Kaoru in the shower scene! (grins) I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I was kind of afraid to post it, thinking people might think it was too smutty, that was why I put the large WARNING sign at the beginning. I hear that some author's work have been erased because people complained. Anyway, I already updated Back Home To You. Only With You is coming soon too, Thanks for the compliment and I hope you tell me what you thought of this chapter.

**Reignashii – **Good guesses but no, that's not what happened. I like Tomoe's character, it's beautiful and tragic…but I like Kaoru better. Hence, my K/K fics. (grins) Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter!

**Reviewer – **Thanks, I love Kenshin as Battousai. I'm glad you like BHTY as well. If you haven't read Only With You, then you should give it a try. It's AU and OOC but of the fics I've written that is one of my favorites. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Anonymous Miss – **Thank you for the review! I hope you liked this chapter! Please tell me what you think! Thank you so much for always reviewing my stories, I really do appreciate it very much!

**Moon-Dragon1288 – **I'm glad you like my story. Don't be sorry for swearing, and the 'b' word isn't even a cuss word, is it? Well anyway, I'm glad you like this fic. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please tell me what you thought of it. Thank you!

**MellysiaVaj – **Hi! Thanks for the support, I'm sure I told you this a hundred times already but I really do appreciate your reviews! Yeah, Kenshin's being really mean and his past actually in a way does explain his actions and his coldness. Things will be revealed a little at a time…but stuff has to happen first…anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please tell me what you think!

**Kento07058 – **Thank you! Well as for the plot, there is one, it's just that I also like to focus on character development and emotions. I think that the emotional struggle is truly where the story lies. I'm sorry if you think this is lagging but I hope you did enjoy this chapter and it helped the story move along. Please tell me what you think!

**Mini-Moonstar – **Hi! Glad you enjoy Only With You, it's one of my favorites! I'm glad you like this story as well and I hope you weren't disappointed with this chapter! Please review!

**Tiaravball15 – **thanks for the compliment! (grins happily) I'm glad you like my stories. What is your favorite if I may ask? Anyway, yeah, Kenshin being an ass, but he's such a sexy ass! There's a reason and the reason is kind of dark and disturbing but…it's a very good reason. I think…anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review.

**Paisita – **Glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, Kaoru finds it hard to leave Kenshin because she feels he truly does need her. I hope you liked this chapter. Please review.

**Strawberyy promises – **Hi! Glad you liked it. I love strawberries, That's why I love your name. Strawberries dipped in chocolate…yummy! (Drools) must find chocolate covered strawberries…

**Tintin-chan – **Yeah I think if I saw a real guy who kind of looked like Kenshin (preferably lots taller since I am taller than Kenshin) I would probably faint! I'm glad you liked the last chapter and hope you enjoyed this one too. Please review!

**Miko Kagome Archer – **Hello! I'm glad you like my story, thanks for the review. By the way, I love Kagome too! Especially with Sesshoumaru! (drools) Fluffy…

**Tesuka-chan – **Hi! You hit the nail right on the head with that one. It kind of sums up this last chapter too, doesn't it? Well I hope you enjoyed it and please tell me what you thought! Thank you!

**Haien – **Yes, Obsessive Kenshin is scary…but way sexy too. I love Battousai…oh well…I hope you liked this chapter and please tell me what you thought of it! Thanks!

**Crystal Winds – **Hello! Yeah, perhaps I should put this in R? But, I didn't really go into very much detail. If you will reread it and see, I only described their kisses and stuff. I don't really like to write too much lemon in a fic, I don't like going into too much detail. (blushes) How old are you if I may ask? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review!

**Scythe195 – **Thanks, glad you like it. I hope you like this chapter too and please review! Thanks!

**Raeyn-chan – **Hi! Wow, I love your review. I am a sucker for dark romances as well. I love them. Wouldn't want to live them (especially the part where heroine is tormented) but I love reading them. I'm glad you liked my story and I hope this chapter did not disappoint you. Please tell me what you thought. Thank you.

**Indygodusk – **Hi! Thanks again for always reviewing, I really appreciate it! I love your name by the way. Yeah, he does want to avoid being tied down. He has goals and he is very focused on them. He didn't even want to like her in the first place but he couldn't help himself. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Please review!

**MZ. Amber EYES – **Hi! (hugs) Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you didn't mind the light smut. I was kind of scared I would get flamed for it. I'm scared of flames. Anyway, I am so glad you always review and that you like my fic! Thanks for your support and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!

**Videl621 – **Hi! I hope you liked this chapter! Thanks for the reviews and encouragements! I really appreciate it!

**Pinay Tiger – **Well, the concept of too much love that it borders on hate has creeped me out. It also kind of sort of seems plausible when applied to the Battousai persona most writers associate with the Hitokiri. Anyway, I hope you do join, it's might be fun and I really think you have a good chance of winning. Especially in the 'lyrical, eloquent' category. I hope you liked this chapter, Sano's character had very few lines but I liked him here. Yeah, I picked out the errors but haven't changed them yet…maybe later after I put this up.

**Leah T – **Hello! Since you asked so nicely, how can I say no? (grins) hope you enjoyed this chapter.

**Clemen – **Hi! Thanks again for the review! I will try to make the chapters longer but I don't want to bore the readers and make the chapter seem dragging. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review! Thank you!

**Bradybunch4529 – **Wow, I always like to read your reviews, especially for this story because it makes me feel happy that my writing is able to draw out emotions from other people! I love reading how you reacted to the scenes and the characters. Their relationship here is very complicated, I'm glad you liked how I am writing this. I really appreciate your reviews and I hope you liked this chapter! Please review! Thanks!

**JBella – **Thanks! I'm glad you liked the citrusy moments. I'm so happy you found it tasteful! Kenshin so cute!Yeah, Kenshin is scary in this story, but he's still so hot too! (sigh) I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review!

**S3r3nity – **Hi! Wow, I am overwhelmed with the review responses too! I can't believe it, but hey, you get tons of reviews too! (smiles) Are you joining FHB's Fanfic competition? You should! As for me being talented, I doubt it…I do try though but there are so many great fanfics out there that I feel kind of inadequate when I read one that is really good. But still, I write for fun so I just trudge on my merry way! (grins) I'm glad you liked Kenshin and the deeper look last chapter gave you to his psyche. ( sentence construction is wrong but…I'm too lazy to rethink it.) Yeah, chicken shit Sano instead of chicken head! I hope you studied for your finals!

**Autumn Shadow – **Your name is super cool! It sounds so…mysterious. I love autumn time when the leaves turn red and gold and the wind gets just a tad bit chilly.(sigh) Anyway, I'm glad you like my stories! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review! Thanks!

**Lexi112003 – **Awww…thanks so much for saying that! I feel honored! I'm glad you like my stories! Thank you for reviewing, I always like to hear what people think of my stories. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review!

**Moshi Moshi Mai – **(sigh of relief) Wow, I'm glad it's not turning into smut yet, although the theme for this is a bit…risqué as one reviewer called it! (grins, I love that word, risqué!) I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!

**Venus goddess – **I like the 'moths drawn to a deadly flame' comment! So cool! Yeah, I know, I love reading those kinds of stories. Ah the angst, the torture! Oh yeah, I love Ravyn! I read her stories and I loved them so much! I haven't checked out Jouchan13 yet…but I will soon. Oh, can you give me the link to guilty pleasures please? It won't show up on the review if you put it there, for some reason seems to not want any other site or whatever showing up in theirs. Can you E-mail it to me? Please? (big pleading eyes) Do you know any good books that have the Victorian Romance theme? I haven't really come across one yet…I'm interested in reading one that is really dark and angsty but oh well…

**Kaoru4 – **Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed that last chapter. Kenshin does need her, even though he tries to deny it. Kenshin no baka! Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please tell me what you think! Thanks you!

**Jane Drew – **(squeals and give JD a hug) Wow! Long review! Longest review award! (hands over Kenshin doll) I love your review, it was thoughtful, long and it made me feel so appreciated. I like how you are connecting to the characters as they are portrayed and the fact that you took time to point out the scenes and lines you liked and your impressions on them made me feel so happy and inspired to write more! I'm glad you picked up on the parallels of their emotions and the love/hate relationship between the two. There is a little glimpse of Sano's point of view here although, it's not clearly stated, I liked him in this chapter. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and please tell me what you thought of it. Thanks!

**Kimi.the.water.spirit – **Hi Kimi! Of course I would review your story! I liked it, it was way good! I know, in real life, Kenshin's actions as a boyfriend may suck but he's so cute in the fanfic world! Still, I love torturing Kaoru and Kenshin here. This seems to have developed into a torture fic for one of my favorite pairings! (grins) Ps, thanks for thinking I'm a good writer! (hugs)

**Vision2 – **I'm glad you liked it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and it lived up to its predecessors. Thanks so much for your support…did you already update your story? I haven't checked yet…

**Kao-gurl – **I love your thoughts on Kenshin's characters and the last chapter. It was…beautiful. Wow! I loved it! I am glad you see Kenshin as that and that you kind of see a side to him that is very difficult to portray. I didn't want to explain every single aspect of his personality in the last chapter. Just bits and pieces and let the reader picture him as a whole. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and it didn't disappoint! Thanks so much for the review! Please tell me what you thought of this chapter, thank you!

**x-iridescence – **Hi! You review made me laugh! Thanks so much and it was so nice of you to review! I'm glad you liked the last chapter and I hope you enjoyed this one too! Please review!

**Britannie Love – **I'm glad you liked it. I hope you enjoy this one too, please review!

**Kairi16 – **Hi! Glad you like it! Did you like this chapter too? Please tell me what you think! Thank you!

**Erica6060 – **Glad you liked it. A possessive Kenshin is scary…but he's so darned hot too! I hope you liked this next chapter. Please review!

**Clamsofmacabre – **(hands a photo of Kenshin and Kaoru in the bathroom) Yup, I sneaked in and took a picture of them. (evil grin) Hehehehe! LOL! I'm glad you thought the smut was lyrical and eloquent. (big happy smile) I was scared people would flame me for it. Oh well…anyway, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. Please tell me what you think!

**Pyramidgirl189 – **What's MARS? Is it a fanfic? A book? Now I'm all curious. What is it? Anyway, as usual I thank you for always reviewing! You're always supporting my stories and I really appreciate that. (hugs) Thanks so much and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!

**Ginny-cry – **Hi! I'm glad you love it. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint! Please review! Thank you! (grins)

**Oyuki – **hi snow! (smiles) what a cute name!

**CrypticMaidenRK – **Hello! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I love your fics and I'm happy you enjoy mine!

**Seeneha – **Hi! Awww, that's so sweet with the Dear Scented Candles. You're the first one to review like that! (grins) Yay for you! Anyway, I am so glad you like my stories. I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to review! Yeah, I think a little smut is necessary for this particular fic although I try to steer away from them as much as I could, (I'm not very good with lemons) the relationship between Kenshin and Kaoru in this fic kind of needs it…I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Triste1 – **Hi! No, I would never portray Tomoe in a bad, bitchy light. I like her character and the tragedy that enshrouds her existence. It seems poignant in a way…still, I want Kenshin to end up with Kaoru. In my opinion Kenshin is able to love Kaoru because of Tomoe. We meet people in our lives who give us a little bit of themselves and this piece helps us grow into the people we will someday become…(does that make sense?) but don't worry, Tomoe is not going to be the reason, a lot of fics have already used that line and I didn't want this fic to go into that direction. Besides, I don't like the idea of a guy acting like Kenshin does just because of Tomoe. It will make his character weak and unable to cope…(smiles) anyway, thanks for pointing out my mistakes. I will redo them later when I have time…anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, spellings and such! Thank you!

**Half-breed-demon-fox – **Hi! I'm glad you liked the previous chapter! I hope you enjoyed this one too! Please review!

**GranolaBar – **You got banned? Why, what happened? I hope you don't into trouble for sneaking in and reading my stories! But anyway, thank you so much for reviewing! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Nekotsuki – **Hi! (puts ointment on Nekotsuki's forehead) I love Tanabata Jasmine! It's such a cool fic. I'm not sure if I've read it all the way through yet, but I think I have. I'll check later and see. Actually, your guess about the reason he doesn't want anyone to know, is very close but not quite. Did that make any sense? Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing! I always love to hear from you! I hope you liked this chapter!

**tsuka-kun:** Hello! Glad you like my works. AS for your question, are you sure you really want to know? If you do, i'll E-mail you and give you the answer, but it might ruin the surprise for this fic. You choice! (grins) I hope you liked this chapter! Please review!

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**Yes, the one that says Review Button.**

**Click on it…**

**Please review! **

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**Remember…reviews…equals…faster…updates! **

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**See you next update!**


	5. 05

**Piercing Silence**

**Standard Disclaimer Apply**

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**Warning! **Slight **Lime **Ahead. Wow, this fic is turning out to be a lime factory huh? Don't like lime? Don't read…but anyway, you guys should by now be already familiar with the lime tone of this fic. There isn't much detail but you know it happened. (grins)

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**A/N: **This chapter is somewhat longer than the others. There's also a review response down at the bottom. This chapter picks up where the last chapter left off. This chapter is eleven pages…wow, that's kind of long, right? Also, it took me a long time to write this so I hope you enjoy.** Special Thanks to all the Lovely People who REVIEWED! **

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**Chapter Five:**

Kenshin watched Kaoru idly from across the table, his long tapered fingers softly tapping a staccato beat upon the surface.

It was the only outward sign of emotion he showed.

His normally lavender eyes were tinted with gold as his gaze softly traced the gentle curve of her cheek, the cupid's bow of her upper lip and the slight outward curve of her bottom lip that gave her a slightly pouty appearance when she was in repose.

It was just the right shape for him to nibble on.

He was well aware that there were other women whose features were more fine boned, more classic, off-hand he could recall at least half a dozen other women who were generally considered more beautiful than Kaoru and had tried to garner his attention.

He never told Kaoru about them, there was no point.

She would only worry over nothing.

He could never seem to find anyone else appealing.

It was only her that he was addicted to.

Kaoru was the only one he craved.

Kaoru had no idea he felt that way and Kenshin wasn't especially inclined to enlighten her. It was just another strangle hold she had over him. Even though she was unaware of her effect on him, he was all too conscious of the fact that his need for her presence in his life was bordering the abnormal.

He didn't like it but there was nothing he could do.

She was shattering his control.

He was scared of what would happen. He could never let anyone have such control over him. He needed to keep his emotions under tight reign. He didn't want to become volatile. His mother had taught him a grave lesson about too much love. It was a lesson he had taken to heart and his experiences in the past had only reaffirmed his belief.

It was dangerous.

Obsessions were not healthy and he could not afford to be distracted. The sooner he got Kaoru out of his life, the better it would be…but no matter what he did, he could never seem to leave her. He had tried so many times to fall under the spell of other women. Women who were more voluptuous than her, prettier…and yet he could never seem to stop himself from coming back to Kaoru.

Her own particular brand of beauty, her singular allure, was his lethal narcotic.

It paved the path for his downfall and yet he always wanted more.

It was never enough.

* * *

.

Shin Taoka's grating laugh skimmed over the edges of Kenshin's awareness and the redhead showed his acute displeasure only through the slight ascension of his left eyebrow. Kenshin wrenched his attention away from Kaoru and transferred it to the man who had so presumptuously seated himself beside her.

The bastard had managed to run into them in the small café Kaoru had chosen.

Spotting Kaoru, Shin had come over to say hello while he presumably waited for his table to be ready and his 'guests' to arrive. Right now, the man was trying to convince Kaoru to give him a chance and go out with him.

Kenshin had never really had a very high opinion of Shin's intellect but hearing him now, trying to persuade Kaoru to do something she obviously did not want to do, made Kenshin's former opinion of his kendo teammate plummet even further than before.

It was an all-new low.

Apparently, it was not yet low enough as Shin turned to Kenshin and solicited the redhead's help in convincing Kaoru. It was probably the 100,000th time that Shin had done this and Kenshin wondered why the man still had not figured out that it was useless.

For Kenshin, it was now official; Shin had an intellect equal to that of toads.

* * *

.

Kaoru listened to Shin talking. They had a few friends in common and Kaoru was quite surprised that they shared quite a few interests and pastimes. He was telling her about an experience he had while visiting a carnival with some of his younger cousins.

"I swear, I have never been so embarrassed in my life. Imagine, my cousin's vomit was projected off onto the people who were seated behind us! I thought we were going to get mobbed and killed!"

Kaoru laughed.

The tempo of Kenshin's tapping became a bit harsher as he watched her eyes light up and a small bubble of laughter escape her lips. His face was carefully impassive as he contemplated all the different ways he would enjoy hurting Shin Taoka.

"That sounds like so much fun!" Kaoru said with amusement.

"Not for those people behind us!"

Kaoru hit Shin lightly on the shoulder with the palm of her hand as she smiled at him in mirth. It felt good to laugh about stupid, nonsensical things, She felt a bit light hearted and she turned to smile at Kenshin only to encounter his smoldering hot gaze as he looked at her and Shin.

He hadn't moved and his face still held the look of cold boredom and yet she could hear each tap of his finger on the table as if it was magnified and it echoed through her brain warning her that he was not pleased.

Kaoru suddenly became very aware that she was touching Shin and she dropped her hand.

"Something wrong Himura?" Shin asked when he finally felt the intense laser focus of Kenshin's gaze trained his way.

Kenshin stared at Shin for a long time, causing the other man to squirm slightly in his seat, before turning to look away, his expression still unreadable.

Shin let out an almost inaudible sigh of relief. It was not a pleasant feeling to have Battousai's infamous golden eyes trained at you for an extended amount of time.

Kaoru stared at her hands.

The waiter arrived to inform Shin that his table was ready. He bade them farewell and smiled warmly at Kaoru. It was a smile she barely returned, her eyes focused on Kenshin's profile.

"See you around Himura," Shin murmured.

"…"

Kaoru sighed.

_This has got to be one of the most bizarre evenings I would ever have in my life_.

* * *

.

Kaoru followed Kenshin into their apartment. It was surprisingly empty and no Sanosuke was in sight. Kaoru wondered if he'd just gone out for the night or if he'd already left for good. She was surprised to find herself wishing he would only gone for a little while. She didn't want him to leave without her having said her proper good-bye to him. She hadn't exactly been the perfect hostess and she blamed it on Kenshin.

She sighed feeling tired as she took off her jacket and hung it in the closet by the door. She removed her shoes and traded them for her house slippers.

What she had hoped would be a quiet, relaxing dinner had turned into a strenuous affair. After Shin had left, both she and Kenshin had been very quiet. Kaoru did not really know what to say to him and she didn't really feel like talking to him anyway, when he was in one of his moods.

She had ended up absently watching him eat his food as she toyed with hers.

As usual, his table manners were impeccable. Kaoru had always wondered about his background. With the exception of Sano, she'd never met any member of Kenshin's family. He had stayed alone in an apartment when she had first met him in high school and never once had he talked to her about his home life, preferring instead to listen to her talk about her own family.

Even when he had graduated high school, Kaoru had been the only one there to see him bow and accept his diploma. She'd asked him where his family was, but typical Kenshin, he'd just looked at her before turning away.

Kenshin had disappeared towards the kitchen and Kaoru headed over to the coffee table when she spotted a small note pinned beneath an empty can of beer Sano had obviously used as a paperweight.

_Visiting with a friend for a dew days…**I will be back!**_

Kaoru snorted at the note. Sano had underlined the last four words three times to emphasize them. The action was no doubt geared towards provoking Kenshin.

Something, Kaoru had discovered, Sano took particular pleasure in doing

Kenshin came out of the kitchen carrying a steaming mug and glanced at her.

Kaoru held up the note, "Sano's gone for a few days. He'll be back though, so don't get your hopes up too high," she said with a small smile, wanting to tease him out of his bad mood.

He glanced at her before looking away again and taking a seat on the sofa.

Kaoru frowned down at him. He was probably angry with her. Well fine, she as angry with him too!

It wasn't her fault Shin liked her.

It wasn't her fault he also happened to be there at the café the same time they were.

It wasn't her damn fault her boyfriend happened to be such a jackass and an insensitive, overbearing, possessive asshole that _denied _her existence and yet was angered when other males came around wanting to court her.

"What's wrong with you?" she bit out, finally. These past few days had been stressful for her too!

Kenshin stiffened, clearly unused to hearing her use such tones with him. When he lifted his head and looked at her, his expression was carefully blank and neutral and his eyes were devoid of any emotion.

Kaoru felt a chill at the coldness there as he studied her like she was an insect under a microscope.

He slowly brought the mug over to his lips, taking a sip of the steaming hot liquid as his eyes remained trained on hers, waiting.

"Why are you acting like that?"

He quirked an eyebrow, "I am like this. I always have been."

Kaoru bit her lip and crossed her arms. "You're so annoying…" she told him, as she turned away and stalked towards the kitchen. She needed to calm down. She decided to fix herself a cup of tea as well. Perhaps the slightly bitter brew would help ease the tension she was feeling.

* * *

.

A few minutes later, Kaoru returned with a cheese sandwich and a mug of tea. She settled down on the carpeted floor, placing the plate and her mug on the coffee table. She picked up the sandwich and took a bite, relishing the taste of it. At the café, she hadn't been hungry. The tension in the air had leeched out her appetite but now, she felt suddenly famished. She ignored Kenshin and concentrated on her impromptu meal, well aware that his violet eyes were studying each move she made.

"I really wish you would stop acting like such an ass," Kaoru said finally as she put down her half-eaten sandwich and reached for the tea. She took a sip and studied him over the rim. "It's difficult for me to handle it, you must know that…"

"My presence in your life makes it difficult?" Kenshin asked in a blank tone as he looked at her with hooded eyes.

"No! That's not what I meant!" Kaoru sighed, "What I meant was I hope you would just be a little easier to get along with…" she put down the mug and played with her fingers. "I don't know why you've been acting so strange lately. It's not you Kenshin. This isn't who you really are…"

He stiffened and his eyes narrowed. "This is me…this is who I am. Don't mistake me for anyone else Kaoru. I am not your idea of who I am supposed to be. I act the way I want to."

Kaoru sighed, "But do you really have to be that way all the time? It's taxing to keep up with your moods."

"If you don't want tobe with me, no one's forcing you to stay."

* * *

.

_No one's forcing you to stay…_

_No one…_

Kaoru stared at him before she reached for her tea, her fingers trembling as she held the mug between fingers that had seemingly gone numb. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the cup, as if using it to anchor her roiling emotions. His words hit her painfully, as if she had been bludgeoned on the chest with a heavy sledgehammer. The pain seemed to echo along her nerve endings until her fingertips seemed to sing with the resulting ache.

She forced her self to take a sip of her tea.

She forced her self to ignore him

_No one's forcing you to stay…_

It was just another way of saying 'I don't need you'.

I don't need you.

I don't want you.

I don't love you.

You can leave.

It doesn't matter.

You're not important to me.

I don't love you.

I don't care.

* * *

.

Across from her, he was silent.

He was noticing all the little signs of her distress and although he did not want to see her in such a state, perhaps it was for the best if she left now, before they both went insane.

He had known this would come to pass sooner or later.

Theirs was a relationship borne out of the supernova of passion.

It would either collapse in on itself creating a black hole that would suck them into madness or it would eventually fizzle out and die.

He ignored the painful clenching in his chest at the thought of seeing her ponytail swing against her back for one last time. The next time he would see her, she would belong to someone else.

There were so many ofmen just waiting in the wings for a chance to be with her.

He knew that and as he looked at her bowed head, her bangs hiding her features from his view, he felt rage explode inside of him at the thought of someone else's hands on Kaoru's skin, someone else's lips on hers.

He despised the thought of her moaning beneath someone else, calling out another person's name in her moment of completion.

Kenshin felt a sudden, indescribable need to possess her.

* * *

.

Kaoru was engulfed in a pain she had never felt the likes of before. It was horrible. She had given most of herself to the man before her. Her life had revolved almost solely around him and he had become the basis of her existence. Now that she was hearing those words come out of his lips, she felt a dizzying sense of weightlessness as if she were free-falling with the ground rushing up to meet her any second.

Had he felt this way all along?

It seemed that he didn't love her after all.

Perhaps he had needed her, but clearly she had outlived her usefulness.

He didn't love her at all.

He had only used her.

He'd sucked up all the life from her and now he was throwing her away like some broken, used doll. In the years she had tried to convince herself that his need for her was borne out of love, it seemed she had only been deluding herself. Blinding her self from the bitter, hurtful truth that she had given up her all that was precious to her for someone that did not even appreciate the value of her gifts.

Kaoru's lips trembled as a sob threatened to escape her throat.

She didn't let it.

She held it in, reigning in all her strength and prayed to God that she had enough pride left not to cry in front of this man who was breaking her heart into a million pieces, just by being who he was.

Well, he would not see her cry.

She would not let him reduce her into a blubbering fool.

She stood up, she wanted to be alone and lick her wounds.

"If that's what you want…" she said softly as she slowly unfolded her legs from beneath her. She kept her head down low, unsure if her composure could take the battering of the sight of his emotionless and yet beloved face.

_It was all a dream…it was nice while it lasted but now the nightmare is beginning and all I really have to do is wake up to the reality I've been hiding from for a long time. _

"I'll be gone in the morning…"

* * *

. 

_Gone…_

_Gone…_

_If that's what you want…_

_Then I'll be gone in the morning…_

He would not see her again?

It was for the best.

Kenshin watched with blank eyes as she slowly got to her feet. She didn't sway, she didn't cry, she didn't beg him or shout at him. It was a simple statement and then she stood up with proud grace and regal dignity.

Kenshin felt somewhat proud of her that she was so strong.

He saw her turn her back, watched as the long strands of her jasmine scented hair slithered over her shoulder to fall down her back like a dark waterfall.

His hands itched.

_If that's what you want…_

_Then I'll be gone in the morning…_

_If that's what you want…_

_What you want…_

_You want…_

_Want…_

I want you.

* * *

.

She heard the sound of her plate fall in a thud as the carpet absorbed the sound of the impact. Time seemed to slow and she felt his breath on her nape, his hand catching hers and detaining her.

He didn't speak, but his fingers bit into her skin with bruising force.

Kaoru closed her eyes.

"What are you doing?" she demanded angrily, desperately. Wasn't hurting her enough? Did he have to see her cry too? Kaoru felt the rivulets of tears she'd been trying to hold at bay break down in a rush as she felt his arms close around her. "Do you want to drive me insane?" she yelled at him, keeping her back to him to hide her tears.

Kaoru felt him against her from behind, his front molding to her back as his hand reached out to touch her hair.

Kaoru closed her eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

Silence.

"Let me go."

"No."

She felt drunk, dizzy, confused and frightened all at the same time. Was he trying to drive her to insanity? Why did he keep playing these games with her?

Kaoru suddenly wanted to leave, to leave the apartment, leave Kenshin and leave all of her memories behind. She wanted to go home to her family and start a new life.

Something simpler, sweeter and so much less complicated than this desperate dark existence she was living with him.

And yet, with his arms around her, Kaoru felt like her was already home…and she realized how absurd that was.

His mouth was on her neck, his lips opening over her skin and tasting her. It felt good, addicting like a cursed drug that seared away all her logic and thoughts of self-preservation.

She closed her eyes and let herself over to the sensations, the pressure of his kisses tilting her head to the side giving him better access to her neck. The pain in her chest was to great and she welcomed the distraction.

His hands rested on her upper arms and he turned her slowly so she was face-to-face with him. He dropped his head and tilted her chin just enough so that the kiss was point blank and center.

It was exactly how she wanted to be kissed and he knew it.

She made a startled sound before her body collapsed against him, her bones melting with the sensations. His hands tightened their hold on her, supporting her and pulling her harder against him. Kaoru made a small moan against his mouth and felt him smile as he changed the angle of the kiss.

He touched her everywhere at once and before she knew it, she was standing in front of him breathing heavily and not really caring that a moment ago, she had condemned him and had had every intention of leaving him.

A part of her screamed that she should turn around, open the door to her , rush in and lock it before he could follow her inside.

She should call her parents and ask them to fetch her _NOW_ before Kenshin managed to sink his hooks further into her, addicting her with his taste, his lips, his body and the almost volcanic need he seemed to have for her.

_It wasn't love…it isn't love…didn't I just discover that a while ago?_

Her lips felt tender and swollen from his kisses and she watched as he leaned back to stare into her eyes. His amber gaze seemed to catalogue each and every one of her features his stare a hot brand on her skin.

Long slender fingers lifted up to delicately trace the lines of her brow, the soft skin of her eyelids, the curve of her nose and lastly…the dip of her lips.

His fingertips played at the curve of her lower lip, playing with the slight indentation. Kaoru's mouth dropped slightly from the sensation and he smiled as he leaned down and licked her bottom lip before nibbling on it.

She felt his hands come between their bodies and she knew he was unbuttoning his shirt, taking off his clothes in hurried yanks that spoke eloquently of his haste and yet his kisses and his touch remained gentle, as if he had all the time in the world and there was nothing more he wanted to do than simply hold her, kiss her and caress her.

Kaoru's eyes roamed over his frame. He was beautifully built. Lithe and slender, his muscles were long and lean and well defined without being bulky; like a cat's.

Graceful and strong…beautiful

Kaoru's eyelids fluttered.

_Kenshin…_

She lifted a hand and touched him.

He felt warm.

She let her hands get used to the texture of his skin. He was too perfectly made to be real. She'd always marveled at how he could act so cold and yet feel so warm under her touch.

She rested her head against his chest feeling his heart beat.

Kaoru closed her eyes and felt him touch her again. His hands were warm as they slid over her skin, caressing her and making her moan inside his open mouth as he kissed her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he bent to carry her to his room. Kaoru closed her eyes and buried her face against his shoulder, inhaling his scent and letting go of every other feeling except her need for him.

A tear rolled down her cheek but she didn't notice.

* * *

.

He laid her in bed gently, coming over on top of her and gazing down at her with those unreadable golden eyes. His hair was in the way, covering them both like a crimson curtain and insulating them from the outside world.

Kaoru felt her senses focus entirely on him.

She reached up to touch his hair and pushed them aside slightly so she can see his face.

Kaoru wanted to see his face.

She wanted to see it one last time before she had to go in the morning.

She mimicked his earlier movement, her fingers tracing the smooth line of his eyebrows, his nose, the smooth, strong curve of his cheekbones. She ran a hand over his lips and he caught one finger in his mouth, playing his tongue over her digit, laving it and sucking it, giving it a playful bite before turning his face to kiss her palm.

Hadn't they just broken up?

He didn't love her.

He only used her.

He didn't care.

Tomorrow she would be gone and it would be as if tonight had never been.

In the back of her mind a part of her acknowledged that it was wrong.

But a part of her also knew that she wanted this.

She caught his face between her palms and pulled him down for a kiss.

If this was going to be their last night together…she would give him her everything.

One.

Last.

Time.

_Ashiteru koibito…_

* * *

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**A/N: **You know, I think this story is getting darker and darker as it progresses. What do you guys think? Anyway, that last line is another good line to end the fic with, don't you think? But I won't. Just in case you guys don't know what that last line meant, it's 'I love you, my darling'. Koibito is actually like koishii somewhat. I'm not sure of the exact translation but it's close enough. Well, what did you think of the chapter? Like it, hate it? Reviews please! Thanks.

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**Review Responses****

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KatsunoCZ – Wow, I was very touched by your review. I'm glad my writing has affected you in such a way. How I learned to write like this? I dunno…its just the way I write, people have different styles right? (grins) I hope you liked this chapter.**

**Videl621 – **Hey Videl! Thanks for the review. Finished moving? I hope everything fine! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Autumn Shadow – **Thanks for the review. I do try to update as fast as I can. I usually update my fic once or twice a month I think…or more. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, please review!

**Obsessed Fan – **hi thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked the story, tell me what you think of this chapter please! Thanks.

**S.Kim – **Thanks for the review. Glad you like my fic, please review this chapter too, neh? Arigatou!

**Gohanzgirl – **Kaoru will make a demand of Kenshin, well a request I suppose. It will be in the next chapter so look out for that. Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. What did you think of it?

**TimeWarper – **I don't think I'll put Sano/Kaoru love thing here but they will have their little sweet bro/sis moments.

**Plaridel – **Glad you weren't disappointed. Kenshin was more jealous this chapter than in the last. Anyway, please review!

**SailorKagome – **Oh, if you find it hard to locate a fic, when you review click on Author's Alert so that whenever an author uploads a new chapter or story, you will receive an E-mail notification from the site. I think the Review History is always down. I check it too and it always seems that way. Anyway I hope you liked this chapter, please review!

**Alex – **Glad you liked the last chapter. Hope you enjoyed h this one too. Please review!

**Reignashii – **you're copy/pasting stories? Wow, thanks for taking the time to review the fic. I appreciate it! I hope you liked this chapter, please review.

**CharlieTheOtakuNymph – **hey, I LOVED your review! It made me feel so happy because that's exactly the mood I wanted for this fic. There's something about creepy relationships that make you cringe but calls on the spectator in us. Kind of like the Games in Ancient Rome, neh? I like the whole bridge metaphor, very cool. Please review!

**Thaz nice – **I'm sorry my story makes you feel that way. I'm glad you are involved with the characters. After you read this, I think you should read Only With You, if you haven't read it yet. It's my 'humor' fic so it should counterbalance the angst in this one. (grins)

**Strawberry Promises – **Chocolate covered oranges? I haven't tried that but I've tried the minty chocolates and I like it! Anyway, hope you liked this chapter. Please review.

**Warina-kinimoto – **Thanks for the review. Glad you enjoy the fic. More of Kenshin past was revealed here, a little bit but it's a start. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Youkai chick supreme – **I haven't read a Sano/Kaoru fic yet. I think the Kenshin in this story would probably kill them both if they get together. (grins) Well, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review.

**Misau – **thanks for calling me a great writer! Being called a writer tickles me enough but a great one? (grins) Yeah, Kenshin's losing control…wonder what would happen next? (grins) Anyway, hope you liked this chapter! Please review!

**Rekka's Angel – **Thanks so much for the reviews. Don't worry, all will be revealed in due time. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

**Ahria – **I haven't really come across people who are in this type of a relationship, I'm just winging it really but I'm glad the emotions I make them portray seem genuine. Thank you so much. I hope you liked this chapter.

**Crystal Winds – **Hi! Anytime you think the scenes in this story are pushing the rating, don't hesitate to tell me okay? You don't read R rated fics? Well some R rated fics are rated like that because of violence and gore and not the lime/lemon content. Some are limey though but authors usually put warnings, like the one on top of this chapter. I don't know if 15 is old enough to read R, it's all about your preference I guess. (grins) Anyway hope you liked this chapter! Please review!

**My-nyan – **I tried to make this chapter longer. It's 11 pages without the review responses. Hope you enjoyed it.

**Kimi.the.water.spirit – **Hi! Oh you want to know? If you want I can E-mail you the plot as I've worked it out thus far but it might ruin your enjoyment of the story. Aw, your BF sounds so cute, he's so happy to date you! (grins) I hope you liked this chapter!

**Lyphta – **Thanks, I'm glad you enjoy the fic. I hope you liked this chapter, please review!

**Ri-nee-chan – **Well, interesting guesses but Kenshin won't be an assassin and he won't be a killer in this fic. I put in some of Kenshin's views in this chapter, I hope you liked it! Please review!

**Kean – **hi! LOL! I know, it's kind of getting hard now to write all the review responses, but I'm not complaining. I love each and every review! (grins) Ranma fics, well I've seen the anime but I've never read a ranma fic. I'll try and get into the fandom and if I get inspired, I'll let you know. Go read anna-neko's **Pig Boy romances Tanuki-chan** I think is the title. It's a Ranma/RK crossover.

**Slipknotkaoru – **I love slipknot! Do you know the song Prosthetics? Tattered and torn? I blame my brother for getting me addicted to that band, but darn their songs are great! Anyway, hope you liked this chapter, please review!

**CrisaRei – **Hi, thanks so much for the review! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please tell me what you think!

**Paisita – **I'm glad you connected with Kaoru's emotions in the last chapter. What about this chapter? Do you like it? Pls review!

**JaneDrew – **Okay, OMG I love your fic! (bows down) UPDATE pls…okay. (gets up and dusts off knees and feigns dignity) thanks for the review! Kenshin does seem to be an ass doesn't he? And Kaoru finally called him on it…but the result was kind of extreme. Sooner or later, if their relationship doesn't change, it's all going to fall apart. Like how Kenshin described it, a super nova; either they go insane or they fall out of it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review! I'm so happy you can't write short reviews coz I adore long ones! (grins)

**Tiaravball15 – **HI! I'm glad you like the story and I'm so happy that you wrote me a long review! (cries) Oh you like Perfect Fit? I'm scheduled to update either that or BHTY, I'm still working on completing the chapters though. If you love Aoshi/Kaoru too, have you read Belonging? It's also a triangle fic between Kaoru/Kenshin/Aoshi. It's a lot darker though, and with vampires.

**Anendee – **Yup, I myself am fascinated with dark/angst stories. I'm glad you like this fic. Why did you wait so long may I ask? (grins) Anyway, I hope this chapter lives up to the others. Please review.

**Kenshin's grl – **Thanks for the review, glad you like the chapter. About Sano, I see him as a rather street smart guy so he should be able to add two and two together to come up with four. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Pls review!

**Tintin-chan – **The others will start to appear in a while. The full reason for Kenshin behavior will be revealed later on in the story. In fact it may actually be too late when the truth finally comes out. (hint, hint) Hope you liked this chapter, please review!

**Princess-oro – **They will all come soon. Just in different roles and slightly OOC. Kaoru finally asserts herself and calls Kenshin on his behavior, but the result is not what she expected huh? I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review!

**Nilnil – **OMG! You almost cried? (cries) Wow, I'm so happy I was able to touch your emotions like that. Did this chapter make you cry? No? (cries) Well, I hope you enjoyed it anyway! (grins) please review!

**Kao-gurl – **Loved your review! I like how you have reactions to the character's behaviors and you tell me what you got out of each chapter! Thanks so much, it helps me see the story and characters in a whole new light. I hope you liked this chapter, pls review!

**Cc – **thanks for the review! I appreciate it! Hope you liked this chapter, pls review!

**Venus goddess – **Hi! I liked the new chapter of your story. In a way, I just realized that your Kaoru and my Kenshin kind of have the same attitude problem! (grins) they would be perfect for each other. (laughs) Angst is indeed a beautiful thing. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Mini-Moonstar – **Glad you like it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review! Thanks!

**Sweet angel – **At the risk of sounding incredibly stupid, what does LMAO mean? Anyway, I am so happy you liked the chapter. I do kind of tend to forget about the descriptions of their surroundings when I get too caught up in dialogue but I will try and remedy that.

**Chickifriend – **Well you already know I don't take offense and I like it that people point out mistakes to me and stuff like that because it helps me to better my writing. As for the possessive part, yeah I'm against it too in real life but I'm strangely drawn to stories where someone is possessive. It's creepy and makes you cringe but also calls to the spectator in us, kind of like in the Roman Empire with the lions and the gladiator games thingies. I would love to have your input on this chapter. Thanks!

**Battousaichick – **being addicted to KK angst is not pathetic! (because if it is, then I'm pathetic too) (cries) LOL! I hope you liked this chapter! Pls review!

**Lendra-chan – **Don't worry, remember they did become friends first right? Kaoru already knows there is goodness in Kenshin, he's just a bit more uptight with Sano around. More Kenshinly behavior next chapter. Not much, but it will be Kenshin-ish.

**Jbella – **Hello! Thanks for the review! What do you think of this chappie? Anyway, things are going to have to be resolved one way or another. This fic seems like a ticking time-bomb to me, the story is waiting to explode into chaos. Ah, the angst…(grins)

**x-iridescence – **I hope this fic didn't pull you away from anything important! (grins) Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like this fic. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Pls review! (grins)

**scythe195 – **Thanks for the review! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please tell me what you think!

**Nel – **Love your suggestions! I think Kenshin would go berserk though. Oh you're Filipina-Chinese too? Happy New Year! Do you have tikoy at home? It's so hard to eat right? Kind of chewy and stick, but I love it anyway.

**Vision2 – **Hey there! Yup, I saw that you updated! Update again soon! (grins) Thank you so much for your kind reviews. Yeah, I am very careful to point out that Kaoru does want to leave him because she knows he's destroying her…but then she loves him and he needs her…

**Battousaifreak – **Hi! Thanks for liking my story! I hope you enjoy this chapter too. Please review and tell me what you think!

**Erica6060 – **Kaoru finally gets in Kenshin's face and tells him he has an attitude problem…Kenshin reaction was Whoa! What do you think of this chapter? I hope you liked it. Angst laden huh?

**Clemen – **Hello! I'm glad you haven't been disappointed by my chapters yet! Hopefully you guys would never have to be disappointed…(grins) I hope you liked this chapter! Please review!

**Ice bandit – **(blushes) Wow, thanks so much for the wonderful compliment. It really means a lot. I'm glad you liked the last chapter and I hope you like this one too.

**Brittanie Love – **Hi! Glad you liked the last chapter. What are you views of this one? Like it? Hate it? Please tell me what u think!

**Triste1 – **Hey there! thanks for the review! (you always review and I appreciate it) Okay, well Kaoru did already stand up to Kenshin in this chapter and also, Kenshin's POV was given a few times. I hope you liked it. If there were any grammatical errors, oh well, I tried to clean it up but if I missed some, gomen nasai! (grins)

**CrypticMaidenRK – **I think this is probably a dark sad chapter. Thanks for the review, I loved reading it. Yeah I guess those women who don't leave their husbands might feel the same way Kaoru does in this fic. Anyway, you already know what's going to happen but I'm glad you still find it entertaining. Also I hope you do update your fics soon.

**Star0704 – **First, loved your review. Thanks! Also, Kaoru finally took a step forward and called Kenshin on his attitude, but Kenshin kind of turned the tables on her, neh? Darn Kenshin! I hope you liked this chapter!

**Himura Kamiya Kaoru – **Hey, I laughed out loud when I read you review! The shower thing was funny. So are you going to take Kaoru's position in this chapter too? (laughs) no, I don't get tired of you saying IMAO all the time. At the risk of sounding ultra-stupid and computer retarded, what does IMAO mean? Oh, you hung up on your friend for me? Thanks! (hugs) Hope you liked this chapter!

**Miko Kagome Archer – **You know, I am currently obsessed with Fluffy/Kagome fics. I dunno why. I recommend One Less Star, read it, it's wonderful! Anyway, Fluffy is MINE! (wrenches fluffy away from MKA) LOL! Oh and I wrote a little Fluffy Skit in the last chapter of my Fic Only With You, if you haven't read it yet, check it out, even just the one with the Sesshoumaru skit! (grins)

**Clamsofmacabre – **Thanks! I'm so happy with the feedback that I am getting from this story. (big happy smile) Actually I love all the support everyone is giving my stories. It's great and inspiring. Thanks you so much! That's why I like to type review responses even though they are now getting longer and longer…(that just means more reviews! Happy smile again!) Can you tell I just love reviews? (grins) Kaoru will crack sooner or later, marks are appearing on the surface and one well placed blow can send her shattering to pieces. (cue melodramatic music) Please review!

**Oyuki – **Yup, I guess when you do find out why Kenshin's acting the way he is, you'll understand. Question is, will Kaoru? (grins) Kaoru finally tells Kenshin he's an ! Ha! Go Kaoru! Even though it is short lived, you were still somewhat defiant!

**MZ. AMbER EYES – **Gomen nasai for the slower updates. Been busy with stuff but I do try to keep up with my fics. As for Kaoru, don't worry I'm a major Kaoru fan and I hate wussy girls too. In this fic though Kaoru doesn't lash out because she knows Kenshin would not want her to act that way. Their relationship is tenuous at best and it shows that she is not sure where she stands. Don't worry, she will become strong though and Kenshin will feel the mighty wrath of the rabid Tanuki! (grins)

**Pinay Tiger – **Hey there! So, since you wanted to find out what happened to Kenshin and Kaoru with their little dinner out escapade, this chapter is for you! Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry for the long, deceiving review responses at the end of each chapter! (grins) both of them are tied together in this mad/desperate love. They're going to have to come to grips with the fact sooner or later. Kenshin has Kaoru and Kaoru does have Kenshin as clearly stated in Kenshin's inner monologue in this chapter. He cannot seem to find interest in other girls even though he tries. The two of them are just chalk-full of insecurities.

**Granola Bar – **Inuyasha rocks! I love that anime! Go Sesshoumaru you lovely demon prince, you! (drools) Ahem (tries to regain dignity) thanks so much for the review! I hope you liked this chapter! Please review!

**Kaoru4 – **No, I wouldn't do that to you guys. I just thought it that it could have ended there, shown Kaoru's turmoil and let you guys fill in the rest of the blanks. Kenshin is going to get some sense knocked into him and it will come in a surprising bundle.

**Moshi Moshi Mai – **I know, Sano is cool. He's sometimes annoying but he's also quite funny and protective of his friends. I hope you liked this chapter, please review!

**Pyramidgirl89 – **I scoured the internet to find out more about MARS. Thank you! What an interesting story. I like how she is an artist and she draws him a map. (grins) kawaii! I do so love dark romances! Thanks much! I hope you liked this chappie!

**Ginny-cry – **Hi! Oh, you almost cried? Wow! Yeah, angst is a beautiful, wonderful thing when you are not experiencing it yourself and are only reading about it. Can you imagine being in a relationship with a guy who behaves like Kenshin does in this fic? (shudders) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review.

**Half-breed-demon-fox – **Hi! Thanks for all the support and reviews! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review!

* * *

Like it?

Hate it?

Please review!

More reviews equals happy Scented Candles equals faster update! (grins)

Thanks, see ya!


	6. 06

**

* * *

**

Piercing Silence

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

* * *

**A/N: **Hey all, thanks for all the beautiful people who reviewed. I am so happy that the last chapter was so well received, I hope you guys like this chapter too. This chapter went through so many different revisions like you wouldn't believe. This chapter is dedicated to **Jbella**, thanks for helping me out. Also, there's a really, really long Review Responses coz I wanted to thank everyone personally for reviewing and answer questions that you guys posted. I hope you like this chapter!

* * *

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**Chapter Six**

**_(Dream Sequence, Flashback)_**

_Kaoru sighed again as she plopped down on the sofa in Kenshin's apartment. She was visiting him while she scouted some apartments she could stay in. So far, the search was fruitless. Everything was either too expensive or it didn't meet Kenshin's approval._

"_We have just wasted five hours of our lives that we would never get back again," Kaoru groaned in frustration. She watched Kenshin disappear into the kitchen and reappear with two cans of soda. He tossed her one and she caught it and yawned. "You know, that last apartment wasn't so bad," she commented._

"_It had cockroaches."_

"_Small ones."_

"…"

"_Maybe I should consider getting a roommate? That way my parents won't have to shoulder the whole rent…someone can pay half and I pay half."_

"_Live with someone you don't know?"_

_Kaoru shrugged, "I'll know them soon enough. Besides, you can help me screen them."_

"_No, your parents won't allow you anyway."_

"_They might. You never know…" Kaoru sighed. "It's either that or I stay at a dorm and have to share a bathroom with loads of other people!" she wrinkled her nose. She popped open her can of soda and took a sip, looking morose. "Kenshin…" she whined. "What am I going to do?"_

"_Do you want to stay here?"_

"_Huh?"_

_He gave her a blank look, but Kaoru could tell he was annoyed with her. "Well, would you rather stay at a dorm?"_

_Kaoru blinked, "You're asking me to share your apartment with you?" she asked with disbelief. Everyone considered her his best friend, and in a way, Kaoru supposed that she was. Even so, Kenshin was still notoriously tight lipped, even around her. He was almost obsessive with his need for space and privacy and Kaoru often called him 'psychotic' to his face, knowing she was the only one who could ever get away with saying such a thing to him. "Are you serious?"_

"_I just said so didn't I?"_

_Kaoru shrieked in glee. Kenshin's off-campus apartment was everything she hoped for and knew she would never get. It was a two-bedroom apartment; spacious, luxurious and tastefully decorated it was also conveniently located within walking distance of the school campus. She had tried getting something in his building but every room had been full. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she cheered. "You won't even know I'm here, I promise and I'll pay half the rent and groceries…but I hope you don't expect me to cook…"_

"_I don't want to die yet."_

_Kaoru shot him a look and stuck out her tongue at him. "Very funny." _

_He shrugged and looked away._

_Kaoru was too used to his attitude to take offense. "You won't regret it, I promise!"_

"_Hn."_

"_This is going to be perfect!" _

* * *

.

Kaoru's eyes opened and she winced as a shaft of bright sunlight hit her unprepared retinas. She closed her eyes and turned away from the offending light source, still slightly disoriented with sleep.

She had been dreaming.

_This is going to be perfect!_

If only she had known exactly what her decision to room with Kenshin would bring; the changes in her life…and even in her personality. Would she still have been as excited? Would she still have said yes?

Probably.

No matter how much he hurt her, Kaoru knew she would never trade one moment spent with Kenshin for anything. Amidst the heartache, there was still that deep happiness she felt in his presence, a joy so strong it was almost pain.

Sunlight streamed from the half-opened blinds that covered the window in Kenshin's bedroom; highlighting the rumpled sheets, pillows, the clothes strewn around the floor and the empty space in bed beside her.

Kenshin was not there.

Kaoru sat up in bed, wrapping a blanket around her nakedness, feeling vulnerable in her state of undress. Last night had been an almost desperate joining as if they both knew it would be the last time. He had kept her awake most of the night, refusing to let her rest or even to breath.

_Mine, you're mine…_

"But you don't even want _me!_" Kaoru whispered hoarsely to the empty room. "All you want is ownership, isn't it? Not _me_ but _owning _me."

Such revelations were hard to come-by, especially when blinded by love and Kaoru supposed that her own epiphany had come at the price of her innocence.

You would never forget your first love…and Kenshin had been the first of many things for Kaoru.

First Kiss.

First Touch.

First Date.

First heartache.

First heartbreak.

It would take her a long time to recover from this and she hated him for ruining her. She loved him still, but she hated him with equal passion for Kaoru now knew that all her relationships after this would always be tainted by the memory of Kenshin.

The thought struck a chord within her and made Kaoru double over and moan as an undecipherable feeling enveloped her in a dark cloud borne of grief, anger, sorrow and despair.

The need to escape him and this place was so strong that her limbs trembled with it.

With shaking hands, Kaoru reached for her clothes and put them on as quickly as she could.

She needed to get out NOW before Kenshin came back.

Her resolve to leave was strong, but Kaoru was not sure how long she could last against Kenshin. God, how is it that a part of her still longed for him to ask her to stay? She wanted to leave him…but what if he asked her not to go? Would her sense of self-preservation stand up against Kenshin and her stubborn and destructive need to stay at his side?

"I don't really want to find out…" she murmured as she reached the door and turned the knob.

* * *

.

Kaoru's steps faltered when she caught sight of Kenshin sitting on the couch in the living room. She was thankful that her long raven hair shielded her face from his view and afforded her the luxury of looking at him. His profile was to her but he didn't turn to look even though she knew he was aware of her presence.

He didn't look rested at all. His hair, always kept impeccably neat, was down his back in a tousled mass. He was only wearing his pajama bottoms leaving his bare chest in display. Various bruises and marks were on his skin and Kaoru knew she sported similar markings on her body as a reminder of last night. She froze when he turned his head her way and she could see his violet eyes bore into her blue ones through the thick fall of her black hair.

Her heart thudded against her ribcage and time seemed to stop and expand into eternity.

Perhaps it was her anger, her outrage, her grief, her long since suppressed sense of self preservation or a combination of all four emotions, but something inside Kaoru willed her into motion.

MOVE NOW!

Kaoru's breath rushed in a gasp and her feet moved so suddenly and the next thing she knew, she was pushing the door of her room closed and locking it before she rested her back against the wooden panel, her chest heaving as she breathed in and out laboriously. She was shaking, her hands trembling at the remembered look in Kenshin's face for that one brief moment when his eyes had locked with hers.

Pain lanced through her chest and she collapsed on the floor, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her head on her arms.

_Kenshin…_

She wanted to despise him, but how could she when she'd spent most of the past year loving him with all of her heart? She took a moment to collect herself before she staggered to her feet and went to her closet to pull out her suitcase. She needed to leave, now more than ever she needed to leave him.

The look in his eyes...

It was too much…

He terrified her.

* * *

.

Her shower was broken and Kaoru made do with the faucet. She washed her face and scrubbed as much of herself as she could. She could still feel his touch on her, his lips on her and she could still smell him on her skin and she didn't want that.

Kaoru pulled a fresh pair of pants, a long sleeved turtleneck and pulled on a jacket over her clothes. It was as if she was using her clothes as an extra layer of protection; an armor against Kenshin. Kaoru realized this as she studied her reflection in the mirror, but she didn't care.

With one last look around the room, she turned her back on everything.

She twisted the knob and stepped out into the living room once more.

She had taken her time in packing and preparing, half-hoping and half-praying that Kenshin would be gone by the time she left.

No such luck.

He was still there; still seated in the same position he had been when she'd first spotted him. At the sound of her door opening, he turned his head and studied her once more, chronicling her clothing and the fact that she had her suitcase in one hand and a resolute look in her eyes.

He lifted an eyebrow. "Where do you think you're going?"

Kaoru froze.

"Where are you going?" he asked again.

"I'm going to go home," Kaoru answered softly as she turned to leave.

"Do you really want to leave?"

"You don't want me here."

"I never said such a thing."

Kaoru didn't even dignify that remark with a response.

"Kaoru…stop."

She didn't.

_I'm sorry Kenshin…_

"Don't go Kaoru…"

_Just a few more steps Kamiya! You can do it! The door is right there, all you have to do is reach out, turn the knob, step outside and you're free!_

Kaoru heard the rustle of fabric as Kenshin stood up and she heard the footfalls as he rushed to her. She reached out a hand, twisted the doorknob and opened the door just before his body came up against her from behind. The palm of his hand shot out and slammed the door shut before she could walk out and Kaoru found her self trapped between the wooden panel and Kenshin.

_Oh God…_

"Let me go!"

"No."

"Kenshin please!" Kaoru said desperately as she struggled to open the door. The suitcase dropped from her fingers as she put both hands on the doorknob and pulled with all her might.

It was still not enough. His whole weight was leaning into the door, managing to block her attempts at pulling it open. "Kenshin, stop this!"

"You can't go," Kenshin said as one hand snaked around her waist, the other still firmly braced against the door.

Kaoru concentrated on getting his arm away from her. "Let go!"

"No," he said as he continued to hold her, pressing her against the door so that her movements were limited, his arm tightened around her waist.

Kaoru knew he had her well and duly trapped and tears of frustration welled up in her eyes. She lashed out against him, angry that he had reduced her to this. "Why are you doing this to me!" she demanded as she tried to break free of his hold. "Let me go! I want to leave!"

"No…" he whispered, his lips brushing against her hair. "You can't leave me…"

Her hands were trapped against the door so Kaoru kicked him in the shins, trying to make him let her go. His hold on her didn't loosen. Even though he wasn't holding her tight enough to cause her pain, his grip was still firm and Kaoru's movements were severely limited. Still, she struggled, like a cornered animal fighting for its life. Tears were running unchecked down her cheeks and Kaoru had never felt so lost or powerless as she did at that moment. She was taking great big gulps of shuddering breaths as she fought to breath through her sobs.

Kenshin turned her around in his arms so she faced him before he jerked her forward in an embrace. Both his arms locked around her and his hand circled her back in soothing caresses. "Don't Kaoru…its okay baby…don't cry…"

"Please Kenshin…please just let me go…" Kaoru groaned as she felt her insides twist. "Don't do this to me, please…"

"I can't…"

Kaoru rested her forehead against his shoulder and panted for breath.

She felt Kenshin bury his face against her neck, his breath warm puffs of air against her skin.

"Let me go Kenshin," she said tiredly.

"Please don't leave me…"

* * *

.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so scared. The terror was like a dark beast inside of him, threatening to devour him. His heart pumped blood through his veins, making him acutely aware of every one of his senses. He could smell her scent and feel the heat of her skin even through the layers of his clothing. He could still taste her on his lips and he could hear her rapid breathing and the beating of her heart.

"Please don't leave me…" he said as he closed his eyes and leaned against her. Memories he'd tried to suppress for so long surged up against the mental barriers he'd carefully constructed and set up in his mind as images of the past overwhelmed him.

_Blood dripped from his fingers and the metallic tang of it filled the air and invaded his senses. He could still remember the screaming and the pleading and realizing that he was going to die. He could remember the tears streaming down his cheeks as his three sisters tried to hide him._

_Don't leave me oneesan! _

_Oneesan! _

_No! _

_No mama, don't!_

_Oneesan!_

He could still remember the look in their eyes.

_Don't leave me, stay…stay here don't leave me…_

"_Run Kenshin, run and hide!"_

"_No!"_

"_Run Kenshin, please you have to try and stay alive…she's insane!"_

"_Oneesan!"_

_Sakura!_

_Kasumi!_

_Akane!_

_Don't leave me!_

_Please don't leave me!_

He didn't want to be alone.

His arms wrapped around Kaoru as he brought her in close against him. "Don't leave me…" Kenshin whispered hoarsely as he buried his face in her neck, "Don't leave me Kaoru…"

* * *

.

"Please don't leave me…"

He was…

He was _begging _her to stay…

Kaoru was so stunned by this that she automatically leaned back from his embrace to look at his face and judge for her self he was indeed the one speaking or if she had just imagined it.

His violet eyes met hers. "Don't leave me…" he said.

She looked up at him and cupped his cheek, her heart twisting painfully in her chest. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she shook her head. "I can't…I have to…"

He grasped her to him painfully, as he buried his face in her neck once more. He shook his head in negation of her words. "Please…don't…"

Kaoru didn't know what to do.

Her mind knew she had to leave.

But how could she leave him like this?

He was shaking and Kaoru was getting scared.

She'd only ever seen him like this once before, when they were in high school. She had realized she had started to fall in love with him and had tried to keep her distance. She wasn't stupid and it was obvious to her, even then, that Kenshin was not a good boyfriend material. He didn't want to have a relationship and would only see her attraction to him as a nuisance. Kaoru had tried to keep away from him before her 'crush' on him blossomed into something more. She wanted to prevent a disaster, and she would have been successful if he hadn't shown up that day on her way home from school.

It had been raining then and Kaoru was running with her umbrella firmly in her hands. She was late in getting home and her parents must surely be worried. She had just exited the school building when she spotted him.

He was standing there leaning against the wall and when he heard her, he turned his head and looked at her with the most haunting expression Kaoru had ever seen on anyone before.

"You're avoiding me."

Kaoru opened her mouth but found that she didn't know what to say. Instead of lie to him and make him angry at her, she nodded instead.

"I see."

Kaoru shifted a little. "You're getting wet."

"Why do you care?"

"You're my friend."

"But you're avoiding me."

Kaoru bit her lip. "Have you been here long?"

He shrugged.

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"Not anymore…"

His teeth had been chattering from the cold, but he didn't seem to pay any attention to the shivers that wracked his body. Kaoru frowned and stepped closer to him, holding her umbrella over both of them. "You're going to get sick if you stay out here too long. Come on, I'll walk you to your apartment since it's on the way home."

* * *

.

"Please, please don't leave me…"

She had stayed with him that night…he lived alone in his apartment and she had fixed him tea and made him take a bath and change his clothes so he wouldn't get sick. She had slept with him on the same bed but they hadn't done anything. At that point in their relationship, they had only been friends. Kenshin had spent the night sleeping in Kaoru's arms, his arms around her as he held her tightly in his sleep.

It was the night she acknowledged that fighting it was useless.

She was falling in love with him.

There was no going back anymore.

It was too late.

* * *

.

It was too late.

Kaoru's shoulders shook as tears fell unchecked down her cheek. Oh God, she was in too deep. She couldn't…she couldn't leave him. Anger at herself, her weakness and her stupidity, spurned her to cry. How could she do this to herself?

How could she love him so much?

How could she stay with him after the way he treated her?

"Don't cry…" Kenshin whispered hoarsely as each shuddering sob that escaped her plunged a knife of pain into his heart. "Please Kaoru…don't cry…"

"Why are you doing this to me?" she whispered against the bare skin of his shoulder.

He didn't have an answer.

Kaoru sobbed against him. "I don't deserve to be treated this way Kenshin! It's either you want me or you don't." Her fisted hand beat against his chest to emphasize her point.

"…"

"I'm not your slave and I'm not a whore! I'm not some sort of doll you can pick up and play with when you're bored and then throw away when you don't feel like playing!"

"I'm so sorry…"

"You can't keep treating me this way! I'm a person too!"

"I know…"

"I'm not just some girl Kenshin. We started out as friends, I'm your friend too…you can't just treat me like I'm some kind of sex toy you wind up when you want it!"

He was surprised to hear that and he pushed her away from him gently so he could look down at her face. His hands smoothed her hair off of her face so that nothing hid her eyes from his view. "Do you really believe that?" he asked, devastated that he'd made her feel like she was just some random receptacle to his desire. Never in his life had he dreamed he was making her feel this way.

"You treat me like that…" Kaoru hiccupped.

"I'm sorry koishii…" he said as he kept his eyes locked on hers. "I didn't intend for you to feel that way. I never wanted to hurt you Kaoru, the last thing I want is to hurt you."

"Then why do you?"

"Because I don't know how to be anything else…I don't…" Kenshin rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "I'm not Shin. I'm not dewy eyed and I don't smile idiotically all the time. Maybe you're better off with someone like him. Someone who isn't afraid to show you how much he cares, someone who has no problem expressing his emotions. You might even be happier with him than with me…"

Kaoru had thought these same thoughts in the past but it all ended up with the same conclusion. It was Kenshin she loved and he was all that she ever wanted and needed to be happy.

Not Shin.

Not anyone else.

Just Kenshin.

"He might be better for you in the long run, but I don't care." Kenshin tilted Kaoru's head up further and made sure her eyes were locked onto his. "You're mine and I'm not letting you go, do you understand? I can't let you go because I need you with me. I need you too damn much…"

"Then why do you push me away?" Kaoru asked, mesmerized by the amber swirls under the violet of his eyes.

"Because I don't _want to need you_! Needing you makes me weak! You make me lose control of myself."

"Kenshin, I need you too. There's nothing wrong with loving someone."

"Yes there is. I don't love like other people Kaoru…" Kenshin said as he remembered that one fateful night he'd been trying to shove away into his subconscious for as long as he can remember. "I'm scared that I'm like my mother…I don't want to hurt you…"

"What are you talking about?" Kaoru asked. She knelt on the floor, dragging Kenshin down with her. He was shaking so hard that she was also trembling. His skin felt cold and clammy under her palms and she wanted to make whatever it was that was causing him distress go away. "Kenshin…?"

"My mother…she…she…" he shook his head. "I'm sorry, I can't…Kaoru…I can't…"

Kaoru clasped him to her chest, stroking his hair comfortingly. "It's okay…shhhh, don't cry Kenshin it's okay…"

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You can tell me when you're ready honey. You don't have to tell me right now."

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

"It's okay baby, it's okay…"

"Don't leave."

"I won't…I promise."

* * *

.

Kaoru sat with her back against the door, Kenshin's head on her lap as he slept. Her fingers played with his hair as she replayed all that had transpired the past few hours. She had some answers and clues as to what made Kenshin tick, but it wasn't nearly enough.

Kaoru's heart broke as she remembered the pain, the fear and the desperation that had colored Kenshin's words. She had wanted him to open up to her but she'd never wanted to see him like that. She'd never imagined that he harbored such pain inside.

"What hurt you?" she asked softly as she traced the faint mark of a scar across his cheek. "Who did this to you?

Kenshin moved in his sleep, his hand tightening its hold against her leg.

He had too much pain and it was obvious it weighed heavily on him. She didn't know how to reach him and she was scared he would suffer more if she questioned him further. She was scared and a part of her still wanted to leave, wanted to escape whatever it is that she'd found herself involved in. She wanted to be a normal girl with a normal boyfriend and a normal life.

But she loved Kenshin too much and as much as he scared her at times, she still loved him. She wanted to stay with him.

_I don't love like other people Kaoru…_

_I don't want to hurt you…_

"What exactly did your mother do Kenshin?"

_And why are you afraid that you'll do the same thing to me?_

Kaoru started to cry once more.

She wanted out…but it was too late.

Love was like a shackle and it tied her to Kenshin as surely as a physical chain.

She couldn't live with him…but she knew she couldn't live without him. Something had to change between them if they were going to make their relationship work. It was going to be hard and it was going to be painful but it was the only way if they were going to survive.

Too much…

It was too much…

"What are we going to do?" Kaoru asked the empty room.

Silence answered her.

Whether it was hopeful or foreboding, she didn't know.

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**A/N: **I wanted them to experience a bit of happiness before the angst truly begins and I rip their world apart and to pieces. (Evil Laugh) A bit of Kenshin's past is revealed. Any guesses on what his mom did? By the way, the three girls mentioned are the slave girls who tried to save little Shinta before Hiko found him. Thanks to **kimi.the.water.spirit **for the information!

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**REVIEW RESPONSES **

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**Ahria – **I'm glad you enjoy reading my story, I hope you liked this chapter. Please review.

**CryingOro – **Here you go, I don't want you going insane (grins) so here's the next chapter. Please review.

**Hajimemashite – **I'm glad you like my story so much. The reason for Kenshin behavior is sort of shown in this chapter but that's not all. Our pretty boy has been through a lot and his past will be revealed in the upcoming chapters. Expect lots of crying and angst as well as anger and pain for them all. (grins) Please review.

**Skenshingumi – **glad you like my fic. Kaoru didn't move out though she was all set too. I wanted to give them a ray of sunshine first before I pour of the rain. The angst has only just begun…hope you weren't disappointed.

**Anonymous – **glad you like the story. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review.

**Serenity – **Sorry for the cliffhangers. Anyway, here you go the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Pls. review.

**Sango-chan70 – **I know, he's so sexy right? I'm glad you like the story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Pls review.

**Perseverance – **Whoot! Thanks so much for adding me to your favorite list! I LOVE long reviews so feel free to leave me really long ones. I know, I am somewhat obsessed with dark possessive fics though I know my attempts to write it is not as good as other. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review. Make it as long as you like! (grins)

**Kamikushi – **Awww, thanks for saying that! Thank you so much for review, I hope you liked this chapter! Pls. Review!

**Cherryblossom – **here you go, the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review.

**Bunny angel – **I know, passion is a double-edged sword. Don't worry, Kenshin has a really, really good reason for the way he acts and his breakdown is only the tip of the iceberg.

**Lily-petal – **Glad you liked my fic. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review.

**Chikifriend – **Hey! I choked when I read your review! (grins) Nah, I'm not writing for experience…! (blushes) I'm glad you like the last chapter and I hope you enjoyed this one too. Please tell me what you thought. Thanks.

**Milady Goddess – **Yeah, I love happy endings too. You know my favorite quote? It's 'Sometimes you can cry on the way to a happy ending' – At First Sight. (grins) Hope you liked this chapter, please review.

**Kuroi-chan – **OMG, I made you cry? YAY! That means you really love the story and the characters! (grins) Yup, Kaoru so belongs with Battousai! Anyway, what did you think of this chapter? Did it make you cry too? (blinks innocently) I hope you enjoyed it! Pls. Review.

**Makotokaba – **Well, Kaoru didn't leave but she did attempt it though. Don't worry, the angst has only just begun. Just wanted them to have a little bit of light in their life before I mess it up again. Hope you liked this chapter. Please review.

**La Magdalena – **Wow, I'm glad you found my story and that you liked it. Kaoru is keeping silent mostly because she is uncertain of where she stands with Kenshin in the first few chapters. Finally, she decides to leave hence Kenshin's reaction and semi-breakdown. Kenshin has a lot of reason to act the way he does, those reasons will be revealed eventually as the fic progresses. Anyway, hope you liked this installation. Please review! Thanks.

**Aa – **Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you like the fic and like how I am portraying Kenshin and Kaoru. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review. Thanks.

**Crisa Rei – **When I read the first part of your review with the 'I don't like it' my heart sank…and then I read the rest and I was laughing when I got to the oranges. (grins) I get nervous when I write limes too so I've never attempted a lemon. Anyway, glad you liked the fic and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!

**Obsessed fan – **Glad you enjoyed the last chapter! Kaoru didn't move out although she attempted too. This chapter went through different revisions so it took longer than anticipated to get out. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it and please review!

**Whoot – **Glad you liked it. Here you go, I updated. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review! Thanks.

**Animegirl38 – **I love Kenshin too! (smiles) I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please tell me what you think!

**Kitsune – **Hi! I love Youko Kurama! (fan girl squeal) Anyway, yeah Kaoru finally got some backbone but darn, Kenshin's so irresistible she wasn't able to leave! Not when he seemed like a wounded animal just then. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review!

**Videl621 – **Hey Videl! Ooh, how old are the kids you take care of? I love kids just as long as they are between one and five years old, above that…I return them to their mommies, my aunts and cousins. (grins) I love toddlers. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Yeah, couldn't exactly make Kaoru leave him. NOT YET anyway. Please review! Thanks.

**Hyperbunniewabbit – **thanks, I'm glad you think it's well written. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Pls. Review!

**Crystal Winds – **Wow, you made me smile with your review. (Hugs CW) Thanks for the compliment! Though, I doubt I am one of the best. Yeah, it's the complete opposite of OWY, the next chapter of that will come out soon so look out for it. Anyway, glad you like this story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!

**Sailor Kagome – **I'm your favorite author? Thank you so much! (hugs) and you think I actually have talent? (grins like a crazy person) Thank you! I loved you review…I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't worry, the angst is yet to begin so let Ken and Kao be happy for a bit. Please review!

**Kura-sama – **Thanks for the clarifications. I know, language is weird like in Japan 'Ban' means evening but in English 'Ban' means something else. And with Koi, it's funny that it's also a fish and like in the koi pond. (grins) AS for the fic, Kaoru may have stayed for now but the story is not over yet. It will get darker and at times, disturbingly so. Kenshin's little revelation is only the tip of the iceberg and there are still more crying and pain in store for them both.

**Kimi.the.water.spirit. – **Hey there! Thanks for the helpful info. Anyway, I hope you liked this next chapter and good like with your writing!

**Rirfytll – **I love alternate pairings as well. I write mainly Aoshi/Kaoru alternate pairings and have never attempted a Sano/Kaoru although you've got me thinking about the possibilities of that pairing. Anyway, don't worry there will be more Sano/Kaoru cuteness to come but I can't make him take Kaoru away from Kenshin or Sano may end up dead at some back alley somewhere courtesy of a jealous Battousai. (grins) Please review! Don't worry though, Kenshin has a reason for acting like an ass and when it's all revealed, I'm pretty sure you'll love him again.

**Reignashii – **Oh no, I'm not accusing you of posting it on another sight! I was kind of amused that you had to do that and I'm so thankful that you still find the time to leave me reviews. Thanks so much! (hugs) Hope you liked this chapter!

**SweetestChick – **Yeah, I couldn't let Kaoru leave Kenshin…but the story is not over yet. (Evil Grin) I'm glad you are enjoying the dark mood I am trying to invoke in this fic. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Pls. Review.

**S3r3nity – **Oh yes I so did miss you! What are you up to now? I'm glad you dropped by to leave me a review and I'm glad you're enjoying this story. Hope you liked this chapter. Please review!

**IcE-BaNdIt – **I love your review. I do try to make it as emotional as possible. Hopefully, this chapter was worth the wait. Did you enjoy it? Please tell me what you thought!

**Strawberry Promises – **Hey there! So, did you like this chapter? It answered the question you posted in your review. Anyway, please tell me what you thought of this chapter! Thank you!

**Jane Drew – **I love angst and hopefully, this chapter contained enough angst. I was kind of insecure about posting it and it underwent lots and lots of rewrites. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, please tell me what you think! Oh and update Frozen Moonlight, please! Thanks. (grins)

**Mellysiavaj – **Hi there! It's always a pleasure to hear from you! Thanks for all the support. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please tell me what you think. Thank you!

**T – **OMG. LOVE your review! I love how you said each chapter gave you a pain in the chest or something because when I read really good angst fic/books, it's the way I feel. The fact that I manage to invoke the same reaction with someone else makes me feel happy about my story. I'm glad you like it and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too. Please review!

**Kenshin's grl – **Oh, naughty idea! I bet if Kaoru did stay with Sano, Kenshin will show up and kick the door open and haul Kaoru back to their apartment. (grins at mental image) Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!

**Venus goddess – **Did you enjoy this chapter? I hope you did but it's okay if you didn't! Give me an honest critique. Anyway, more of Kenshin's past is revealed and it is just the tip of the iceberg. Pls. Review! Thanks.

**Crying Oro – **Oh hey, yeah, you did review twice didn't you? (grins) I just noticed now. Anyway, don't forget to review and I hope you liked this chapter!

**A.B.C Otaku – **Well lemon, as far as I know, is a very graphic sex scene, like very detailed. Lime is also like sex scene but less detailed. Like, you know something happened but they didn't say how or go through the mechanics. Also, I think lime is necking and stuff like that. Hn, now you've got me confused too! LOL. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter. Please review!

**Paisita – **I'm glad you love my story. Yeah, the story is about to get even darker with Kenshin's past showing it's ugly head, but before the angst I'm going to make Kenshin and Kaoru happy first before I make them suffer even more. (evil grin) I'm so bad, but don't worry it's all part of the story.

**Erica6060 – **Well, Kaoru didn't leave but I still hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Please tell me what you thought of it. Thank you!

**Misau – **Well, Kaoru didn't leave. Did you like this chapter? What did you think of it? Please tell me, thanks!

**Vision2 – **Oh this is one of your favorites? I'm glad. I hope you enjoyed this chapter; it was hard to write. Anyway, please review! Thanks!

**Tintin-chan – **I'm glad you liked the last for lines. I thought they made a good ending for the chapter. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!

**Kaoru Kamiya – **Ooh, I made you cry? YAY! That means you care for the characters and the story! I'm so happy that you liked the last chapter. Did you like this one? Please tell me what you think!

**KatsunoCZ – **Hi! I love you review! Wow, aching? I feel that way when I read really good angst books or fics and I'm so happy I managed to invoke the same feeling in someone else with my writing! Thanks so much for the encouragement. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and wasn't disappointed! Pls. Review! Thanks!

**Nel – **I know, she's kawawa right? But in this chapter, it's Kenshin who suffers more and we get to see his past a little bit and it's only the tip of the iceberg. Poor guy, I tortured him so much…(wicked grin) anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Please review!

**Clemen – **Kenshin suffered a lot of trauma when he was younger, the whole mother thing is just the tip of the ice berg hence his 'psychotic' behavior. Anyway, more angst to come but I wanted them to have a little but of light in their relationship first before I really torture them. (grins)

**Scarlet Rayne – **This chapter showed a bit more of Kaoru's girl power I think. Hn…what do you think? Did you like this chapter? Anyway, when are you gonna update Broken? I am so waiting for the next chapter…(grins) Pls. Review!

**Alex – **Glad you like it. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!

**Cyjj – **thanks for the review! I'm very happy you like my story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Pls. Review!

**Ginny-cry – **Wow, addicting? Cool. Yay, BK FOREVER! (grins) I love that pairing. Hope you liked this chapter. Please review!

**Ri-nee-chan – **Hey there! Yup, Kenshin as an assassin would have been too much. Lots of fic like that already exists so I thought I'd deviate a bit. His past is given a bit of light in this chapter, but not much. Can you guess what his mom did? (evil grin) and that's only the tip of the iceberg of Kenshin's troubles. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Ninie – **Hi! Thanks so much for the praises and encouragement. I tried to get this out as soon as I could but it underwent some major rewrites and hopefully this chapter was worth the wait. Did you like it? Pls. Review!

**Gypsy-chan – **Hi! Wow, did you know that you are really famous? I think so, I mean your websites are known in the RK community and it's where I got most of my info in the beginning before I started writing RK fics. Destiny's Gateway, I wonder what happened to that though? I tried accessing it but it wouldn't show anymore, did you take it down or maybe I have a problem with my computer? Anyway, I am so very honored that you actually like my fics and thanks so much for the long reviews. It inspires me and I love reading them. Thanks for the support and I hope this chapter wasn't disappointing.

**Battosaichick – **darn it, just a couple more steps and she would've been free! (grins) Oh well, anyway, this is only the beginning of the story. More angst to come. Did you like the chapter? Please review! Thanks.

**Princess-oro – **Unfortunately, I am one of those rare unfortunate people who have not watched Fruits Basket as of yet. I do love Aoshi though. He's major kick-ass gorgeous with the whole silent bad boy attitude. (sigh) Plus, he's tall which is a major plus factor on his side against Kenshin, though Kenshin's cute too my mind just shies away from thinking about his height too much…Kenshin's only 5'2. I just imagine him taller.

**Scythe195 – **hey there! As always, nice to hear from you. Glad you like the last chapter. Did you like this one too? Please review! Thanks!

**Lonely-star07 – **Glad you enjoy my fic! (grins) Okay, here's the update, now it's your turn. Tell me what you thought of it. (smiles) Please review! Thanks!

**Tiaravball15 – **Don't worry, Kenshin will go all possessive, especially in the latter part of the story near the end which is still quite a few chapters away. More characters need to be introduced first plus some revelations before that happens. Anyway, about Belonging, Aoshi will not get his heart broken but neither will Kenshin, how is that going to happen? (grins) Read to find out! Oh and I'm actually planning to write a prequel to Belonging where it discusses how Aoshi actually met Kaoru and the progress of their relationship before the whole Battousai incident. It's going to be a long while before it start it though, cuz I wanna finish Belonging first. What do you think, should I go for it?

**Jbella – **Well, I already told you thanks. And thanks for the E-mail too, it gave me the confidence to manage to post this up, finally. Thanks again!

**Mini-Moonstar – **Wow, you actually think people would buy my books? Cool! I'm planning on taking up Creative Writing/Literature/Journalism when I get to college. I want to be a screenwriter though. Not in Hollywood but in Asia since I kind of prefer the way movies are made here instead of in the West. No offense to Westerners but they just ruined The Ring. The original Japanese version was so much scarier.

**Carebear-chan – **Very long and thought-out review, I loved reading it and thank you so much for it! Kenshin's character in this fic has started to unravel but that's just the tip of the iceberg. He's been through a lot, poor guy. New characters will pop into their lives as well as new problems will arise, hopefully the two of them will be able to survive it. (kind of vague, but didn't want to give out the major plot points)

**MZ. AMber EYES – **Hi! I am one of those few people who do not have IM and stuff like that. I am too lazy to wait for it to download into my computer so I haven't actually been able to talk to anyone in except via E-mails. Sorry if the dialogues are a bit rough and awkward, I'm actually more inclined to make them just silent and quiet and thinking. I love meaningful silences. Anyway, I hope this chapter wasn't too much of a disappointment. Promise, Kaoru will get strong and Kenshin will have to go through hell to get her but that'll be later on. I wanted them to have some sweet moments together first before I pour on the hard-core angst. (smiles)

**Haein – **How's he going to react when Kaoru does attempt to leave? I think this chapter answered your question. Anyway, did you like it? Hate it? Please tell me what you think!

**Triste1 – **Hey there! I read that you went out and bought The Wedding? Cool fic huh? So funny. Anyway, I also love another author her name is Susan Elizabeth Phillips and you should check out her books Kiss an Angel and my favorite, Heaven Texas. Actually, all her books are fabulous. On to your review, glad you liked the last chapter. Don't worry about the ending. One of my favorite quotes is 'Sometimes you can cry on the way to a happy ending' – At First Sight. Ooh, my Kenshin reminds you of the actual Battousai? Cool. The poor boy (in this fic) has been through a lot and the little glimpse of his trauma is only just the tip of the iceberg and there's more angst to come.

**Nilnil – **Oh, you almost cried? Hn, I will do my best to actually make you cry! (grins) I've had some people tell me they actually did cry though…how about this chapter? Did you cry or almost cried? Or did you just stare at the screen in disgust and say 'what a lame chapter?' (sniffles) anyway, please review! Thanks!

**Autumn Shadow – **Kaoru didn't get to leave…so what did you think about the chapter? Love it, hate it? Disappointed? Please review! Thanks.

**Thaz nice – **Hi! Yup, I make it a point to reply to my reviewers coz usually they have questions and stuff about the fic or I just wanted to reply. Even though it makes for horrendously long Author's Notes on my part. (grins) Aw, you also read OWY? Glad you support my fics! Also, thanks for saying I'm a great writer! (grins) Thanks! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review!

**Kenshinlover2002 – **Don't worry, lots more twists and turns to come plus the darkness of this fic is only just beginning. It would probably get disturbing in a bit but not for a while…anyway, I hope you liked the little glimpse of Kenshin's past. Did you like this chapter? Please review!

**AbFabJill – **Thanks for the review! Here you go, next chapter! Please tell me what you thought of it!

**Sweet angel – **thanks. The number of people who review are a lot aren't they? I just love you guys! Thanks for the support and encouragement. Yeah, I kind of did feel that a bit too, hopefully this chapter is better but if you don't think so, feel free to tell me. I appreciate an honest critique coz it helps me write better! Thanks you! Please review! (grins)

**Pinay Tiger – **Hi girl! How are you? Anyway, hope everything's fine with you! I love the review, as always! I'm glad that you pick up on the love beneath the pain. This fic is going to get a lot darker as it progresses so there needs to be love all it all just falls apart. So, what did you think of this chapter? Like it? Hate it? Please review!

**Lyphta – **Thanks for the review and the encouragement! Please tell me what you thought of this chapter! Thanks

**Nekotsuki – **hey there! (hugs) How are you? I know, so many reviews huh? You should know, you get a whole bunch too! There's even this fic that is based on your fanfic, isn't it? LOL! Wow, you're like an idol now! (grins) I know, stupid grammar and spelling errors. No matter how hard you try to weed them out, they always seem to escape detection. (sigh) So, how did you like this chapter? Please review!

**Brittanie Love – **Hi! I'm so glad you support my fics. I think I already said this before but again, you are awesome and I appreciate you very, very much! (grins) Thanks for the encouragement and I hope you weren't disappointed with this chapter.

**Mi-nyan – **Ooh, love balloons too. Especially the ones in the stick with all the diff. Shapes? Okay well anyway Kaoru stayed with Kenshin and Kenshin had a breakdown of sorts…sigh. This fic is entering the next stage of angst where new characters will pop up and old scars will be revealed. (grins) But first, some Ken/Kao goodness.

**Kao-gurl – **Hey there, I heard that you mistook me for someone else on Adult Fan Fiction. No, it wasn't me, I didn't write the Inuyasha version of Back Home To You. Some people contacted me about this and then when I checked it out, the other author already took down her fic. Anyway, on with your review, don't worry about the sadness and angst in this fic, it all just serves to highlight their love for each other.

**GranolaBar – **Poor Kaoru…but poor Kenshin too since he's been through a lot. The mom thing is only like part of his whole problem. There's actually more and the fic gets disturbing and dark the more they delve into Kenshin's past and how Kaoru reacts to it and how it affects their future.

…**. – **Hn, I think you are right. It is getting a bit depressing. And the angst has actually just started since there are even more painful revelations and scenes to come. (sigh) Tormenting Kenshin and Kaoru seems to be the motif for this fic huh? (grins)

**Pagan – **Thanks! Here you go, I updated. So what did you think of this chapter? Like it? Hate it? Disappointed? Please review!

**Bradybunch4529 – **Wow, did you know that you actually write one of the most eloquent reviews I've ever received. Your reviews in and of themselves are almost like literary pieces with the descriptiveness and just the way you write it. It always makes me smile. I'm happy you liked the last line.

**Kaoru4 – **Well Kaoru didn't leave YET, but this is just the beginning of the story. The real plot begins to unfold from here on end and the angst will pour in on later chapters. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter and wasn't disappointed. About the bundle…hn, I have plans for that…plans that will tear Kenshin's heart out. (evil grin)

**Pego – **Yeah, it's kind of tiring but I like interacting with my readers. Sometimes I finish a chapter and have to postpone posting it for a day or two because I have to write the responses. Anyway, it's all good. Nope, don't write Lemons. For me, they are scary and I haven't attempted one yet though some people are telling to go for it. Perhaps, I dunno. I'm writing an Inuyasha crossover. His Golden Eyes, did you read it? I have the next chapter ready but I'm not sure if its any good so I'm postponing posting it. (sigh) Anyhow, hope you liked this chapter!

**EB – **I know, it's getting darker huh? So, what did you think of this chapter? Like it, hate it? Please review and tell me! Thank you!

**Moshi Moshi Mai – **Thanks for the review! So, did you like this chapter? What did you think of it?

**Half-breed-demon-fox – **thanks for the review and the support that you give my stories! So, did you like this chapter? Hate it? Please review!

**Gohanzgrl – **So, Kaoru said things are going to have to change between them, but she's scared because Kenshin is scaring her with his reactions. I think I would be scared to if my boyfriend was like that. Kaoru is a normal girl whose never had a tragedy in life, to find herself right smack in the middle of Kenshin's tragic existence…she loves him but she is still scared of what their future together would bring. What did you think of this chapter? Please review!

**Youkai chick supreme – **Did you like this chapter? Kaoru was all set to leave…and then she was fighting him so she could leave…but Kenshin had a breakdown and Kaoru loved him too much to leave him in that state. I think, even if you didn't love a person that much, you shouldn't leave them if they are in the state Kenshin was…I love torturing them both and the angst has yet to begin!

**CharlieTheOtakuNymph – **LOVED, LOVE, LOVED your review! Thanks you, it was very inspiring! I'm glad you liked my story and I hope that this chapter wasn't at all a disappointment, although if it was please tell me so I can better my writing. Thanks!

**Pyramidgirl89 – **Haven't really gotten very far with MARS. All I know about it is that some of the poplar guy's girl attacks the heroine of the story…? I wasn't able to check out the whole manga just the first part and synopsis of the plot. Uh, which site were you talking about? It got erased in your review…could you E-mail it to me? Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter! Please review! Thanks.

**Lendra-chan – **Hi, thanks for the review! So, what did you think about this chapter? Like it? Hate it? please tell me what you think! Thanks!

**MuSiCAdDiCtRyE - **Glad you liked it! Please review neh? Thanks!

**Clamsofmacabre - **You were the first reviewer for the last chapter! Yup, of course your review made me happy! I hope you liked this chapter and wasn't disappointed! Please tell me what you thought of it. Thanks!

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**THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOU REVIEWS**

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	7. 07

**Piercing Silence **

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

**A/N: **Thank you all for the beautiful reviews. They were inspiring thank you guys so much! Sorry for the late update but I kind of hit a writing slump for a while and now I'm trying to catch up with my updates. Thank you to Jbella who made sure this chapter doesn't have any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. Thanks so much!

**Chapter Seven:**

In movies, once the couple gets their feelings across and out in the open, the closing credits roll, and people are left with the assumption that the story ends in an 'And They Lived Happily Ever After'. That was not the case at all; it wasn't really the end of the story.

Actually, it is the jumping point of where everything begins.

Kaoru rolled her pencil between her fingers, alternating between glaring at the complicated math problems in front of her to thinking about how unfair it was that Kenshin could solve it so easily without even breaking a sweat. It was her assignment, and he'd done it for her after hearing her complain non-stop about evil, sadistic professors with a penchant for torturing poor, innocent students and burning off their young, unassuming brain cells.

He'd given her the sheet of paper he'd scribbled his solutions on and said "Figure out how I came upon those answers," before he headed off to take a shower. "You've been neglecting your math classes and your grades are dismal."

Kaoru had glared at his back and stuck out her tongue at him. _Whose fault is that, huh? Try having a slightly psycho boyfriend and see how well you cope with advanced mathematics. _

She smiled.

Their relationship was far from perfect; they still had problems, and Kenshin was still frustrating her most of the time, but at least now they were trying to work things out instead of suffering in silence. For some reason, Kenshin still balked at going public with their relationship, but Kaoru didn't mind as much anymore. She understood that his resistance didn't stem from his shame at being with her. It didn't have anything to do with her at all. It was something he needed to work out within himself. It was obvious there were some deeper issues he needed to figure out for himself first, and she planned to be there for him and help him through it.

Right now, she felt as if he needed a friend and a confidant more than he needed a girlfriend. And since she'd been both even before they had a romantic relationship, Kaoru had no trouble slipping into the role of his best friend once more. That was how everyone saw them anyhow.

Well…everyone except Sano.

He refused to accept that Kaoru's relationship with Kenshin was simply platonic, and he seemed to take great pleasure in pushing the envelope and seeing how far he could go before Kenshin snaps and threatens him with a few carefully chosen words that roughly translated to 'Get your hands off her or I'll cut them off.'

"Well you said she's not your girlfriend, I don't see what the problem is," Sano would say with a laugh, and he would usually blow Kenshin a kiss, making the annoyed redhead even more irate.

**XXX**

A couple of days after the incident with Kenshin's 'break-down', things had been a little bit awkward between them. It was obvious the redhead was not at all used to baring his feelings like that, and Kaoru felt overwhelmed with the information and emotional stress that it put on her.

Kaoru kept on thinking about how to proceed from that point on, and what changed in their relationship, and so many things that just, really, it was inconsequential when she thought about it in hindsight. When it comes to relationships, you can't really think too much or plan too far ahead.

Relationships deal with people and emotions, and things change and shift and evolve naturally if you let them.

That was what happened.

After several days of tiptoeing around each other and not knowing exactly what to do, Kaoru woke up one night, she'd taken to sleeping in her own bedroom, and found Kenshin sitting in an armchair, watching her sleep.

"_Kenshin…?"_

_He just sat there, his face shadowed by the dim light in the room and the golden glow from Kaoru's night lamp that she kept on since she was afraid of sleeping alone in the dark._

"_What are you doing…?" Kaoru asked again as she pushed her hair away from her face._

_An expression that Kaoru could only describe as longing fleeted over Kenshin's face as his eyes met hers in the semi-darkness. "I need you Kaoru…don't pull away from me, please…"_

"_I'm not…" Kaoru shook her head, denying it even though a part of her knew it as true. There was a distance between them, a gap that had formed because neither knew what to do or where to go from the point of Kenshin's confession. _

_Kenshin dropped his head, his long bangs shadowing his eyes._

_Kaoru sat up fully and watched him in silence for a while before she whispered his name in a soft, tentative voice. It didn't seem like he heard her except that Kaoru saw his fingers curl into tight fists, and his hands were trembling even though the rest of him was completely still, and his breathing was even._

_Kaoru stood up and walked over to him and knelt in front of him. She laid her hands on top of his fists and felt their slight trembling. His hands were clenched so tightly, she was afraid he'd draw blood sooner or later. _

"_Kenshin…I'm sorry if it felt like I was pulling away from you…it wasn't…I didn't want…" she gave a frustrated sigh. She didn't know what to say to him, how to begin, where to proceed. She ended up bowing her head and resting her forehead on Kenshin's knee. _

"_I-I want to tell you…I want to, but I can't…"_

_Kaoru's head shot up at the sound of his voice. "No, no…" Kaoru protested. "It's not about that!" Did he think she was pulling away from him because he wouldn't completely tell her about his past? "I told you that whatever happened doesn't matter. You don't have to tell me now. You can tell me when you're ready."_

"_It's my burden to bear…I shouldn't have told you a-about her…especially since I can't explain…"_

"_It doesn't matter. I would have preferred it if you had told me sooner…but we were friends even before we became a couple, and I knew that there were things in your life you aren't ready to share. I don't care about your past. Knowing what I know, however incomplete it is, it doesn't change the way I feel. I don't exactly understand what happened, and someday I hope you'll be able to open up to me. But Kenshin, I love you and…" Kaoru stopped as she felt emotion well up in her throat. It made her feel so bad that Kenshin had to go through whatever trauma he went through. He had gone through life guardedly, and she wondered what would have happened to him if she hadn't met him?_

_Would he have remained friendless, focused only on his goals and not really associating with anyone?_

_What a lonely existence._

_Was that how he'd grown up, as a young boy?_

_Kenshin pulled his hand from beneath Kaoru's and smoothed back her hair. "Don't cry Kaoru, not for me. I don't deserve your tears."_

"_You must have been so lonely…"_

"_I'm not now, that's all that matters."_

"_Kenshin…I love you, remember that, okay?" Kaoru said as she met his gaze and willed him to believe. She could see him as he cried and begged her to stay, she could see him as he held her almost desperately, she could see him sleeping, and even in his sleep his hand would always find a way to hold on to her as if he was afraid that if he let her go, she would disappear forever. "I won't leave you, not unless you want me to. I promise I'll stay and I won't ever let you be alone…" _

_Kenshin bent his head and pressed his lips to her forehead. "I don't deserve you…but I'm glad I have you anyway."_

_Kaoru smiled but she couldn't stop her tears because her heart still ached for him. Her mind concocted different scenarios, each one more heinous than the next. What could have changed him so? What could have made a little boy grow up into someone so guarded, so afraid to let his real feelings show? His mother. His mother should have cared for him protected him and cherished him but instead she'd done something that had altered his psyche and turned an innocent young boy into someone who didn't trust easily and who found it so hard to love. "I'm so sorry about what you had to go through…" _

_Kenshin got down on the floor in front of Kaoru and hugged her, stroking her back in comforting circles as she cried in his arms. "Please don't cry anymore…it's okay."_

"_No it's not…someone hurt you…"_

_Kenshin smiled slightly, but Kaoru didn't see._

_He held her like that until she cried herself to sleep, and then he stood up and carried her back to bed, tucking her in with care. He sat down beside her on the bed and looked down at her sleeping face. She looked so young, so innocent, and so beautiful. She was so pure, and every time he touched her, he felt like he was defiling her somehow. But he didn't really care because he needed her in his life. He needed her so bad it frightened him. She said she loved him, and she wouldn't leave him. She always said she loved him, and he loved hearing those words. He lived for those moments when she would hold him and cry out his name and tell him she loved him._

_He could never bring himself to say those words back, and he knew she deserved them._

_She deserved so much more than he could give her._

_I love you…_

**XXX**

Kaoru bit the end of her pencil and glared at the equations. She could sort of see the process, but she had no idea how he'd come up with the answer. She was still annoyed that he'd manage to accomplish it in about ten or fifteen minutes when it was taking her more than triple that time to figure out how he'd done it.

With a frustrated sigh, she stood up and headed for the kitchen, intending to fix herself some hot chocolate. Normally Kaoru just drank the tea Kenshin was so fond of. The hot chocolate was Sano's contribution. He'd brought some back from his visit with his friend because he _hated _tea and claimed that he was afraid that if he drank enough of the foul brew, he'd end up as emotionally constipated as Kenshin.

Kenshin had overheard of course, because Sano always made sure Kenshin was within earshot whenever he made such comments. It seems his passion in life was to get on his stepbrother's nerves.

"_If you become constipated, I'll shove a bokken up your ass," Kenshin glared._

"_Whohoo! Now I finally figured out why Jou-chan's only your roommate. Seems me and you have different sexual orientations, huh bro? That explains the long hair."_

Kaoru had choked on her tea at Sano's implication that Kenshin was gay.

Of course the redhead was not happy, but he didn't dignify Sano's statement with a reply, just gave the brunette the 'Glare of Death' and stomped off to practice.

Sano had been staying with them again for a few weeks now. The earlier tension had somewhat dissipated as all three of them got into a routine. Kenshin still showed immense dislike for Sano and his acute displeasure at having him live in the sofa, but he generally left Sano alone barring a few choice one-word insults and death glares aimed at the brunette. Mainly, Sano spent his time away from the apartment, only returning late at night and then sleeping in the next morning.

At first, she had tried to stay away from Sano, but the man was just too amiable for his own good. He teased her and made her laugh, and although he frequently gave her hugs and kissed her on the cheek, Kaoru never felt molested or uncomfortable. She had come to realize that it was just his way of showing affection for her. It was so hard not to like him, and she found herself laughing when he teased her, and they formed a sort of brother-sister bond. Kaoru asked him once what he did when he was out.

"Awww Jou-chan, I didn't know you cared!" He had laughed and given her a hug. Unfortunately, Kenshin chose that moment to come out of his bedroom, and he had seen the hug. The redhead had given them both the evil eye before he'd left for school.

"What's up with him?" Sano had asked, smirking as he kept his arm around her.

"Who knows?" Kaoru asked with a shrug, trying to elbow him away.

"Maybe he's jealous. Are you sure you're just his roommate?" Sano had laughed and pecked her on the cheek before heading off into the bathroom. "He acts more like a jealous boyfriend to me."

That had been pretty much the beginning of Sano's adamant refusal to accept that Kaoru and Kenshin's relationship was platonic and his baiting of Kenshin. Kaoru was concerned that Kenshin was getting really annoyed with Sano's antics but on the other hand, it was really cute to see Kenshin act like, as Sano termed it, a 'jealous boyfriend'.

Kenshin didn't ask her to stay away from Sano again even though she knew that her 'friendship' with the brunette somewhat annoyed Kenshin. Kaoru chose to think that it was because he was now confident of her love for him and that he trusted her. Their relationship had advanced a little; it was a baby step, but it was a step forward, and that was all that mattered.

**XXX**

Math Class was the last class every Wednesday and that was why Wednesday was Kaoru's least favorite day. She was always tempted to just skip the class and head home or roam the campus, but of course she couldn't since she could barely understand what her professor was talking about half the time. If she started cutting classes, she might end up failing and have to take the class again next year, which would be a torture beyond imagining.

"I can't believe you got an almost perfect score on that math exam; it was grueling!" Tae complained as she talked to Kaoru after the math professor left the class to moan and groan over their test scores. "That man is evil, you know! He's evil incarnate. I think he doesn't really want to be a professor, and he's bitter, and that's why he's taking it out on his students. That'll make a great movie; 'The Frustrated Professor'. Sort of like, 'Teaching Mrs. Tingle' only this time it's set in college, and the teacher's a guy."

"Good idea. Hey, didn't Mrs. Tingle's students like, try to kill her or something? I echo the sentiment. You know what we should do? When we graduate, we should come back here and visit him to get closure. It'll be like indirectly saying 'Hah, I survived your class, I graduated, so there'."

"That's _if _I graduate. Really, that teacher hates me I think. See how he always calls on me to answer questions on the board no one else volunteers to answer?"

"Maybe he's got a _thing _for you, and since he knows he can't have you, he's taking out his anger at you for tempting him. That'll make a great movie." Kaoru commented teasingly.

Tae laughed and shook her head. "Illicit affair, how interesting. Still, you haven't answered my initial inquiry."

"Which is?"

"How in the world did you manage to get such stellar grades on such a brutal exam?"

"I got a good tutor," she answered with a grin. "Kenshin explained the stuff to me, and it's actually pretty easy once you get the gist of it."

"So that guy's cute, sexy, the top kendo athlete in the school, probably the entire country, and now you're telling me he's good in math too? He's got to be an alien, you know, like in 'Roswell'?"

"What's with you and American shows anyway?" Kaoru asked with a laugh as she gathered her things and prepared to leave the classroom.

Tae did the same as she answered, "That's what satellites and cable TV are for. Haven't you figured out by now that I live vicariously through the people in those shows? They have so much freedom to express their sexuality."

"So…you're hankering to express your sexuality?"

Tae grinned. "Nope. It's just fun to watch the aftermath, you know? How they get themselves into those situations they could have easily avoided if they had more self-control. Have you heard of the show, 'Desperate Housewives'? It's kind of like 'Sex in the City', but now the girls are married. Who knew the libido had so much power, huh? It's not just American shows either, you know. There's this Korean film 'Phone' or something, and the teenage girl had an affair with a married man. She got pregnant, and the guy left her, and she died or was killed or something. The dead girl's soul possessed the man's daughter, and everything went down hill from there. Teenage pregnancies are at an all-time high, kind of ironic with all the contraceptives floating around, but I think abstinence is really the key. I mean, if you're still a _teenager _you're not supposed to go around having sex, right?"

Kaoru, feeling like a total hypocrite, agreed with her friend. "Right." She believed in abstinence too, and she knew that if her parents found out about her and Kenshin, they would be terribly disappointed in her. So would her brother and sister. Not only about having sex with Kenshin but more importantly, about the true nature of her relationship with the redhead. It always hurt her that she had to conceal such a vital part of her life from her family's knowledge. She'd always been open to them before. Kaoru smiled a little awkwardly and opted to change the subject. "How did we get from talking about mathematics to TV shows to talking about sex and the consequences of unprotected intercourse?"

"I'm just a good conversationalist, that's all." Tae winked.

Kaoru had to laugh at that. She loved her friend, and talking to Tae was always a riot because her personality was so eccentric and eclectic. "Hey, I can help you out with math class if you want. You can come over later tonight, and we can discuss it."

"Tonight's no good. I'm working part-time at one of the restaurants near our school. It's called Tabemasho. I'm kind of trying to get a feel for running a restaurant. I've already got the cooking part down, and I'm learning about the business aspect of it. I thought some hands-on experience would be nice."

It had always been Tae's dream to open a restaurant of her own. She was a fabulous cook and Kaoru was confident that Tae was going to succeed. "Have you figured out what you're going to name it yet?"

"Of course. I'm going to name it Akabeko. Pretty cool huh?"

Kaoru nodded. "Nice. So what, you're going to be an assistant chef there?"

"A little bit of everything. Mostly waitressing though, but that's alright. It's better than nothing. I practically had to beg the manager for the job and I'm being paid slave wages but what's important is the experience, right?"

"Right."

"How about we do it the day after tomorrow?" Tae asked.

"That'll work."

"Great…oh hey look, it's your other half coming over here."

Kaoru turned to the direction Tae was pointing and indeed saw the redhead making his way towards her. He was being followed by three girls who were trying to talk to him, but it was clear Kenshin wasn't paying much attention to them.

"Those girls have no shame," Tae muttered to Kaoru. "Can't they see the more they go after him, the more annoyed he gets?"

"They just really like him I guess," Kaoru said, trying to be understanding even though a part of her echoed Tae's sentiment.

"Seriously, the two of you have been inseparable since high school. You and Kenshin should just get together already so the girls would stop pestering him, and Kenshin won't have to glare away the guys who show the tiniest bit of interest in you."

Kaoru blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about Tae."

"Yeah right." Tae rolled her eyes. "I was there in high school, I've known you for a long time. Besides, I know Shin likes you. That guy just won't shut up about how much he likes you. And since Kenshin won't help him, he thought he'd ask me for help since I'm the closest to you other than your red-haired roomie. Shin was going on and on about how overprotective Kenshin was, but you know what, I think _possessive _is the word, really."

Kaoru blinked, feeling her face heat up in a blush. If Tae was thinking that Kenshin was being possessive of her, then perhaps other people were having the same thoughts as well. Kenshin probably wouldn't like that. Kaoru watched Kenshin's eyes narrow as he said a few words to his 'admirers'. They scattered off like leaves flown by the wind and Kaoru couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for them. She'd been around Kenshin long enough to witness him using his caustic tongue on people once in a while. It wasn't a pretty sight; he could be terribly cold and harsh sometimes. "Kenshin…he doesn't really like Shin very much."

Tae snorted. "No kidding. Aside from you, I don't think Kenshin likes anyone at all."

**XXX**

Kenshin and Kaoru were walking towards one of the cafes near campus for a cup of coffee since it was only late afternoon. "Didn't you have practice today?"

"It got cancelled."

"Oh, so you'll be free from now 'til tonight?"

"Yes," Kenshin answered. "Do you have anything in mind?"

"Let's go have dinner out later at Tabemasho. Tae's working there, it would be fun."

Kenshin shrugged. "If you want."

"You remember Tae right? Back from high school?"

Kenshin turned to frown at Kaoru. "Of course I do." He wasn't stupid, so of course he could remember people's names. It was just that most of the time when other people were being introduced to him, he couldn't care less about their names and just didn't pay attention.

He'd paid attention though, when Kaoru had introduced him to Tae since Kaoru seemed so fond of the girl.

Tae was bearable, since she was someone who did not stare at him constantly and look at him like he was the incarnation of all her silly, girlhood dreams. But he'd always thought that she was a bit weird and slightly flighty.

Kaoru smiled, "I told her you were tutoring me, and she said you must be an alien."

"Alien?"

"Yup." Kaoru laughed. "She asked me to have you try and do the alien hand thing…"

He raised an eyebrow. "You keep company with strange people."

"I love strange, but the word I think that you're looking for is eccentric. Besides, I keep company with you. Are you saying _you're _strange?"

Kenshin turned to regarded her with a lifted eyebrow, a small smirk playing on his lips. "I could possibly be the strangest one of all…"

Kaoru looked up at him and smiled. "Like I said, I _love _strange."

**XXX**

**A/N: **Ha! Not much angst, told you I'd give them a bit of happiness before I torture them again. So what did you guys think of thins chapter? I wanted to write down a long **Review** **Responses** but I was excited to post this chapter so in a day or two, I'll probably repost this chapter with the Review Responses on to answer some of the questions you guys had posted last chapter.

Thanks so much for the reviews!

Please don't forget to review this chapter as well!

Click on the button there at the left with Go on it...

Thanks!


	8. Chapter 8

**Piercing Silence**

**A/N: **Hi guys! Yes, I'm aware that I haven't updated my stories in quite a while now. I've been really busy with school so it will take some time for me to update. Right now I'm busy with assignments and researches and reports and stuff that I have to do and write but I hope this excerpt for the next chapter of Piercing Silence will tide you over until I have more time. Don't worry I haven't forgotten my stories, I'm just really pressed for time right now.

**Chapter Seven: **

He loved her, that much was clear. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted to see her smile. He wanted it so much it was almost an ache in his heart and a pit in his stomach that got bigger and bigger and threatened to consume him. He would do anything for her. If she asked, he would kill for her, just so she would smile at him. That was dangerous.

Kenshin knew Kaoru was not the kind of person to even think about killing another human being, but that fact that Kenshin knew, he knew he would willingly do it if she but asked it of him…it freaked him out. It wasn't right and it wasn't normal and it shouldn't be.

But it was and oh god, he didn't know how to step back from the line of insanity he was painfully treading closer to each and every day. Love wasn't supposed to be like this, but there was something screwed up in him, in his genes that made something so pure and so beautiful become ugly and menacing. He didn't want to hurt Kaoru and he was scared that he would.

He knew with perfect clarity that Kaoru would be better off without him. He was damaged, broken, and the pieces of himself he'd managed to scrape back together again didn't quite form a human whole. There was something skewed in him whether it was there from birth, a legacy of his parentage, or if the experiences he'd had growing up had instilled that 'wrongness' in him, Kenshin wasn't sure. He just knew that it was there and he was scared for Kaoru. He was scared of himself. He was scared for her. He was scared that the past he'd worked so hard to free himself from would come back and take everything precious away from him.

Kenshin had worked so hard to distance himself from everyone and everything. He didn't want to be close to anyone because that would put them in danger. If he was alone, encased in his own bubble with nothing but himself…then the taint of his past wouldn't be able to touch him.

_I'll take everything away from you…_

But what if there was nothing to take away?

Kenshin had worked hard for that to be a fact. He wouldn't be hurt if nothing could be taken away from him. He pushed everyone away. He didn't need them. He needed to be strong, to prepare. Nothing would hurt him again. He would protect himself from pain.

But Kaoru had shown him that his existence, his forced isolation was a different kind of pain altogether. From the moment he'd seen her, he'd felt something inside him clench in response. He was prepared to do anything to be with her. He'd broken his self imposed rules and ignored the warning bells that rang shrilly in his mind.

And now, he was even trying to change himself. To change the aura of forced isolation he had around him. He didn't want to see her in pain because of him anymore. She deserved better but he refused to let her go. He couldn't.

He was scared of what being with her was doing to him.

But he was scared of losing her more.

**A/N: **Okay, that's what I have so far that is coherent but I have more notes. Just be patient and thanks for your encouraging words and support.

Scented.

(The same situation goes for all my In Progress storiesif you also read Back Home To You, Only With You, The Logical Conclusion and the others. Just be patient.)


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